I was told that I have cancer and I cried the first day, but ever since then I just have not really "felt" anything outside of my sessions with Brian.
The statistics are good for this "common" cancer, but I feel that I am NOT feeling. Despite being borderline of not being responsive to treatment (as I am being told), I am convinced that I WILL beat this cancer.
I feel that Brian said it so clearly yesterday with the affirmations during my session. "Sometimes it's easier to "do" than to feel". I feel this is so true for me right now. Am I not feeling things? Am I numb? As I am writing this, tears are rolling down my face. So, I am going to have to say, yes! I think I need to just "be" with this news. Really BE with it. What the FUCK does that mean or even look like?
In our family "feelings" was not a thing we really connected with, so experience is not something I have mastered. Although my work with network care has brought me leaps and bounds further than I have ever been. I am feeling that with this news... I should be a basket case or something? right?
I know there is no right or wrong answer in how I deal with this, but after yesterday's session with Brian... I am just feeling as if I am numb! So here it goes...
To the universe and greater powers that be, please show me the direction in helping me connect and start processing this cancer.
Still trusting the process.
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