Not even a jar

The other day, I went to go open the jar of tea, and I shed a few tears trying to open it. I think I tried opening it 3 or 4 times before I finally got it open. Awakening moment of how weak certain parts of my body are. Although today I shoveled dirt, moved some small rocks, planted about 10 plants and helped with the fire. It's because I utilized my plant medicine to provide me a boost. I'm sure my muscles will feel that tomorrow!

I am ready to get in the pool a couple days a week, after work. Get my body back into shape. Slowly floating in my main element. I miss floating in the water!

New Job

Workplace dynamic is a must and I feel that I've bounced around. I've made a few friends along the way, but ultimately never was satisfied with the people AND the job. Until now. I finally have landed at a company where I feel supported, It's keeping me busy; too busy. More than I would like, but I have an assistant who does a lot. A new job usually isn't because someone is retiring. I'm mostly there to "fix" something. I enjoy the challenge! Definitely see a difference in how long my energy lasts and having to slow down is a forceful situation at times. Naturally, my body let's me know if I am over doing it. 

On edge

So here it is... 1:30am. Can't sleep, feeling a bit tired, but my wheels are turning, and turning. STOP!

I feel as if there is so much on my plate, and I have no balance right now. All or nothing. How unhealthy is that? The last few days, I feel as if I'm gonna SNAP! It's been over 10 days since I was at the gym, but yesterday I finally made it back in; and I ran 5 miles. Today I met with my trainer (who kicked my ass -Thank you!), and Thursday and Saturday is boot camp. I'm still running that 10K in a few weeks... I'm ready for that for sure. Oh, I guess I did run the 5K last week. Short and slow run... more of a warm-up, but it was good fun!

I'm sorry, but how did I get here again? Actually, how did I let it happen. I truly am a workaholic, but it's time to back the fuck up!

I feel as if I'm ignoring myself, and the one's that I love. Work, work, work. WTF! Why?

I know I have a lot to do, but I've hired my staff, and I'm taking teeny tiny baby steps forward, but OMG it feels as if I'm not accomplishing what I want. Perhaps it's time to take another step back. BREATHE and just relax. A break would do me some good. Clear minded, focused and rested with the potential to be more productive. Yup, it's time.

Time to get off this edge, and come back to myself!

Boomerang it back and give me the strength to keep going!

Some days the challenges of the battle just fuel me, some days those very same challenges just drains me and I get so exhausted!

Time for this or that; no! -I don’t really have time for much and when I do have the time, I just want to veg out sometimes. I know that I need rest and rejuvenation to be re-fueled. Reset! Entrainments definitely help with the grounding and solidifying the core. Thank you for the tools that I have been shown; use the tools!

Boy, I cannot wait until the stuff that is heaped on my plate is completed and cleared off!

This morning, when I was driving into town, I found myself asking the almighty universe for the energy to continue on with this research project and preparation of the things that need to be done.

So this is me expanding my energy out to the universe… Allow it to unfold and boomerang back to me 10 fold with the answers and outcome in which I desire and deserve. I ask the almighty universe to assist me in finding the strength to pursue and purge forward. Please bring forth the courageousness that is needed to continue on this path and the courage to have the wisdom to let go when the timing is right.

Always smiling no matter what, but some days that smile is harder to allow to genuinely happen so freely, please show me the path and direction in which I am to be walking.