Why am I so scared?

Let's be honest! It scares the hell out of me!

I feel that for decades. Really since 1996, I have been working my ass of to be successful. Honestly, I am very successful. Sure I'm not a CFO or a President of a company, but I have the ability and the experience to get there if I really wanted too. But I don't! Not anymore!

If I explore more into what my heart and soul desires, I feel that I would not be utilizing all the things I have sowed for the past few decades. I would feel that I have been wasting my time. I HATE wasting my time. It's too precious to whittle away. 

As I'm writing my thoughts into words, I hear myself thinking... but it's the journey that you needed to experience to get you here today. In those little things, sometimes BIG... it is with every experience that has brought you closer to discovery and renewed perspective. Thank you to network care and genius frequency for providing me the tools that I have in my life in allowing me to be more open. I am now starting, okay let's be honest. I've been asking for years as I know deep down that THIS life is not what I want. I just haven't been to that part of my soul to understand that seeking that part of me is more important than what I'm doing right now. 

Cheers to self discovery and the upcoming experiences while I start the process of exploration.

Opening my eyes

I expressed how much I didn't want to allow it to happen, and out of nowhere, I realized how it's starting to creep up on me. It meaning... don't allow the all or nothing to creep back in. Keep balance!

  

Today made me realize that I need to step back, take a deep breathe, and regroup. Stop "trying" to be super woman. Let's face it, I'm a fixer. I gave it a valiant effort, but am quickly realizing that the cycle is starting to begin again. Ahhhhh Nooooooo  

What gets my blood pumping is when someone informs me as to one thing, and the situation turns out to be something different. Therefore the repercussions are that I'm drowning! Super drowning! I feel as if the hole just gets deeper and deeper and the light becomes a tunnel that is becoming darker and smaller. I feel as if I can't breathe or even relax without figuring it out!  

I signed on to this project, and by the grace of GOD... I am going to make this happen. --Good News! I think I have a solution. Bottom line is that I require help.  

When I was working in Miami, somehow I made it work. Let's be honest... I was running all the time, but I made it work.  When I took that time off, I realized the importance of having balance. It felt really nice to fit it all in without compromising what was important to me. With the new job, it's about finding my rhythm again. Here we go... shifting! 

What I love about today... I realized the very moment that I started to compromise myself. Usually, it's weeks, months before I really see what is happening, and to flip the switch back is more challenging. Thank you for that realization!

So here's to finding my rhythm, finding balance, and not compromising the things that are a positive asset to me and my lifestyle.