Vicious Cyle

I absolutely hate that I am taking drugs for this cancer! Necessary, but still hate it!

I am in week 3 of this 6 week bout with the medicinal & radiation regimen and the vicious cycle has already begun. Chemo pills for the cancer, nausea meds so I can eat. Although, I still am not able to eat a lot of the foods I love. They just make me sick thinking about it, let alone smelling it. Fluconazole for the imbalanced flora and  now a new medicine for the UTI symptoms that are starting to arise. I haven't picked up this prescription, yet... but it is supposed to numb your bladder. OMG. 

Short term, short term, short term... this is what I keep saying to myself, but I HATE IT SOOOOOOOO much! 

Grateful for the modern medicine to eliminate this cancer, but not happy at the present moment. Trying to stay grateful and keep a positive open mind about this process. 

Work, work, work.

It’s been a busy year so far, and not much time to blog. Work has consumed me! Not good!

I keep telling myself that this too shall pass, and it will. Perseverance and persistence will overcome those challenges. I’m not a quitter, and I will get what I want… no matter what it takes!

Becoming clear, making concise decisions and determination will win this battle.

Cheers!

Tears

I feel this wave of tears behind my eyes. Actually, for a while now, it’s been a wall. -holding back something! I don’t know why and maybe I’m not supposed to know, but when I heard this song it released that wave of tears and in that moment, I realized that it’s time to start. Really start! 

Stop this little by little shit, and make the conscious decisions that you know you need to do, and just do it -them!

For too long I have been taking care of other things for other people, other people, and basically, NOT ME!

You can call me the cold hearted ruthless bitch, but I’m done! I’m done denying myself the things I desire, I ache for and cannot seem to live without any longer!

Change is a challenge, but if  I"M going to make a difference, then the conscious-ness of the shift must take place. Not tomorrow, TODAY!