Falling apart with total anxiety!

I feel that I just can’t hold it together anymore. It'll be the wrong person at the wrong time and I'm going to go off like a bomb!

I feel like a released balloon that is flying around, out of control. All I feel is anxiety and anger! So much anger! Not rage, just frustration at the timeline of things. 

I want to cry, but when I try to allow things to be, I have nothing! I feel like Cameron Diaz in the movie, the holiday! I steal moments when a single tear is shed, but nothing more than that! WTF! I’m sick of this shit. Totally on auto pilot. I’m at the finish line, but this time, it’s a cliffhanger and I’m barely hanging on!

I have many moments of anxiety where I just cannot get a deep breath. I have to stop, touch the energy that is in my chest and breathe. I feel like I need to STOP!

Still have no idea how to run payroll, but really with everything that is going on… taking it day by day. I cannot think any further than that. Just too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe how much I have allowed this situation to sacrifice my boundaries! OMG!

Please allow me to have the strength to just make it through the next few weeks. I’m almost there!

The worst experience EVER!

Okay, maybe not ever. I seem to recall other situations that, in the moment... it feels like the worst situation. Really, that statement is driven by emotions that are particularly invested in this process. What I do, effects the employees of the company and I do take that personal. 

It’s not like I’m a newbie, because I do have experience with system migrations. This latest venture on moving our HRIS from Paycor to UKG has been a hair pulling event. The absence of explanation doesn’t help. If you think that I do well with “trust me” – you are sadly mistaken. I am a kinesthetic learner and understand that IF you want “systems” to operate as intended, then I MUST have the full comprehension of point A to B and back to ensure the mapping is in place.  

Truthfully, I cannot understand how a company that is this big can have so many complications. Maybe that is the problem. They are too big to be able to provide the customer service that I demand, no deserve! Their communication or lack thereof communication was creating more challenges than necessary. It was ridiculous! I’m guessing their turnover had something to do with their training practices, because the delivery of this project was, again… ridiculous! My takeaway is the same as when we were with Paycor. We are in a boat by ourselves with no life raft and the calvary isn’t coming. We will do what we need to do to ensure that we can “functionally” operate.

Lasty, I’m not impressed with UKG and I wouldn’t recommend them to anyone.