Why did I do that?

I allowed myself to have a long period; lapse in judgement of bending the real truth of the matter. Yet, the real honesty of that statement is… I allowed it! I am in charge of my actions. I am in charge of knowing how to say no and stop myself from doing something that I wholeheartedly know is bad for me. Yet I did it any ways. I vow to no longer partake in that behavior, not only in a mind, body, and soul decision, but mainly because it goes against my principles and I felt so guilty after the fact. I felt so out of control and yet I wanted more. That’s the thing about addiction… it grabs ahold of you and doesn’t give a shit about your feelings, or your beliefs. I am in control! I am BACK in control and I have taken a vow to never, ever let that lapse in judgement happen again. Goes to show that even 20 years ago when I first made that vow… anything can happen if you allow it. Here I am again. Fuck that! Fuck you for allowing that to happen again. Not just once, but for an entire year! OMG WTF… Okay pity party is over!

Thank you for the recognition of the awareness in knowing that you are in charge… yes YOU are in charge. Refuel, and continue to look forward in loving your mind, body, and soul!