Sharing my JOURNEY....

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Time and Space

On Friday, I’m lying on Dr. Mark’s entrainment table and I can’t help, but notice that I have a smile on my face. Not intentional, just happened!

That smile opened my eyes to realizing just how quiet and peaceful life has become. Noticing that in those still and quiet moments… I feel so happy. --Realizing just how peaceful things are; honestly, a refreshing change in pace.

For me, on a normal day; most days really, I have something on my mind, something going on that occupies that time and space. However, recently there has been a shift in the energy around me. I feel that I can attribute this shift change to my energy, focus and attention. 

Oh, how those little changes in the everyday things I do, make a substantial difference. Nonetheless, hard work, dedication and super laser beam focus has been very rewarding along this journey.

I’m so grateful for this awareness, and the realization that I’ve created that for myself.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Happiness starts from within

Someone just recently commented on a blog post expressing that I must be a troubled soul. –People’s perception never seem to amaze me, as this comment was from a skewed perception in the absence of the truth. 

I know I’ve blogged about this a few times. Honestly, my perception has shifted over the years, and each time… I’ve shared the growth from which I’ve witnessed. BUT I wanted to share again. -On a more detailed level!

Not always did I believe this. As a matter of fact many, many years in my past, especially in my childhood, I believed that I was the victim. Why me? BUT for many years now… I now believe that if you want to be happy then you must start from the inside. 

Unhappy people are always searching for happiness. They believe happiness is reliant upon the acquisition of something new or something different. They are constantly chasing, but never attaining. Often times, they search for it in all the wrong places. For example:

In their next purchase. For too many, it has been ingrained into their thinking the proper way to attain happiness is to find it in their next purchase. As a result, joy is sought in bigger houses, nicer cars, cooler technology, or more fashionable clothing. Most possessions never satisfy. In fact, the joy they bring is entirely fleeting. And those who search for happiness in them are left to chase the next purchase… and the next… and the next.

In their next paycheck. Perhaps, Zig Ziglar said it best, “Money won’t make you happy, but everybody wants to find out for themselves.” I know happy people who own less than me and I know unhappy people who own far more. Money is not the secret to happiness. It never has been and never will be. And the sooner we realize this truth, the sooner we can discover the freedom that accompanies no longer desiring riches.

In their next relationship. We were designed for relationship and there is great joy to be found in them. But relationship, by its very nature, requires humility and selflessness. And believing there is another person out there that can bring complete happiness into your life is to embark on a journey with no destination… and often with disastrous outcomes. Our relationships become far stronger and more fulfilling when we stop searching for someone to meet our needs and start using relationships to meet someone else’s needs instead.

In their next physical enhancement. Healthy bodies and healthy diets are important. I would never speak against their benefit. They allow us to maximize our days and effectiveness. But those who seek happiness in tighter butts, slimmer waists, and larger biceps are looking for fulfillment in physical bodies that were never designed to bring such outcomes. Happy people understand the importance of physical discipline. But they do not base their happiness on their physical appearance.
In their next competition. I have come to understand the mindset of competition in our world is based on a faulty premise. It assumes there is a finite sized pie—that one person’s success in life equals one less opportunity in mine. But this thinking is incorrect. The pie keeps growing. And those who seek happiness by ruthlessly beating out another compete only against themselves. In reality, the quickest way to find happiness in your life is to help someone else find it in theirs. 

In their next job. It is important to pursue work you love in an occupation that contributes good to society and the world around you. This type of work brings fulfillment and promise to our lives. Unfortunately, I fear too many people nowadays are seeking the “perfect” job with high pay, few hours, and no stress. But the perfect job doesn’t exist. Work always requires blood, sweat, and tears—that is what makes it work. Again, those who are continually experiencing disdain in their present career because they think the next one will be perfect, are chasing happiness in the wrong places. While there may be a time for change in employment, there may also be a time for change in your approach to it.

In their next escape. Unhappy people seek escape. They believe distraction from their present circumstance is a shortcut to happiness. They often turn to television, addiction, or weekend getaways to numb the pain. But the entertainment always ends, the morning always comes, and the vacation always concludes. Meanwhile, the present circumstances have not changed—they have only been complicated. Happy people recognize their circumstances and do not require escape from them. Instead, they choose to practice peace inside them.
In the next person to solve their problems.  Blame is a dangerous habit, and a very real obstacle to happiness. Shifting the responsibility for shortcomings onto another person or external factor immediately eliminates any need or motivation to change. Instead, the victim remains trapped in a cell they built themselves—waiting for someone else to come solve their problems for them. But every time we blame someone else for our unhappiness, we lose. And in the long run, it keeps fulfillment and happiness just out of reach.

In accepting things just the way they are. Happiness can be discovered at any point in our lives regardless of our circumstances. But finding happiness in them does not mean we are complacent in the face of things that can be changed. It does not mean we stop striving or growing or maturing. We do not use happiness or contentment as an excuse for mediocrity. Instead, we walk forward in confidence and discipline to become the best possible versions of ourselves—not just for our own well-being, but for the well-being of others.

Your happiness is based solely on your decision to be happy—and this may be one of the most important life lessons any of us could ever learn.

My final thought… Happy people know that happiness is a choice. They know it is not a reaction to present circumstances. Instead, happiness is an available decision despite them. They have removed the thinking that waits for everything to be perfect before joy in life is experienced.

“Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” —Margaret Lee Runbeck

Everybody has an opinion

A most recent blog topic has captivated some people’s attention. Although I’m happy that others have taken an interest enough to post a comment, I deleted them. They were negative, derogatory and just not true. I guess that they are the “truth” of what they believe, and that’s okay. Even a lie that is told over and over again becomes one’s truth. One of the commenters even threatened me to remove the blog and told me, that if I didn’t, I was going to be sued for slander. My comment to that. BRING IT ON!

There is this thing called the constitution and the 1st amendment includes the freedom of speech. I will always continue to speak my truth, and share my beliefs. If you don’t agree with it, then don’t read it.

If one should feel the need to bring the negativity to my blog, please know that I will delete such comments. I will not tolerate the slanderous-ness of my blog. It’s my blog, and I will express my emotions, thoughts and stories as I see fit. 

I wish peace to those who see the need to project onto others. 

Love & Light

Monday, May 16, 2016

No carbs! Ugh this is a challenge!

No carbs! Can you imagine a world where you should not eat carbs? NO WAY!

First off, I already eat super healthy. I steer clear from fast food, I don't drink alcohol very often, I juice (almost) daily, no not with a juicer... with my Vitamix! I like the fiber in my juices; I like to poop. --AND the fiber in the juices I drink, help me naturally run those nutrients through my body!

I don't drink soda; okay, honestly, once in a blue moon I get a hankering to drink a coke, but, it's not very often. I don't eat junk food. Although not too long ago, I used to. Either way I'm happy to cut those carbs to reach my goal of low body fat. Everything you eat has carbs, how can you possibly not eat carbs? The truth is... your body needs those carbs. I believe in a balanced diet!

For me... it's the art of cutting carbs. Still a challenge, but the reality is that I'm working so hard on me... I've hired a personal trainer to show me how to work smarter, not harder. Although I am working harder, but I'm seeing massive results. Investing in me, is best thing I've done for myself in a looooong time! I'm playing racquetball often, walking/running my dog, riding my bike more often, swimming and doing what's heart healthy. Living conscientiously... I must change my lifestyle. Not temporarily... but, for good! After all, I'm no spring chicken. Yeah I'm forty, but I feel like I'm still in my 20's; although my body reminds me at times that 20 has come and gone!

Here's to the awareness that I cannot continue to eat what I want, when I want. Small indulgences are okay, and the wisdom of understanding that this change is good for me and the future me. I cannot wait to see what my future self reveals as this life moves forward.

Love and Light!

Sunday, May 15, 2016

So trusting

We as children are born into this world with no choice in the matter; our parents were in charge of that decision.

I “learned” many years ago that everything in this world is a learned behavior. -AND as children, we are oblivious as to what generational habits we learn. Our parents, their friends, and the people that surround us, bring forth many habits. -Some good and bad. What’s sad to me is that there are habits that we learn that are so horrible, and unless we decide to break away from it, it may continue to live on through our children’s, children. --BUT, let’s not forget about the stories that we pass onto our children as well. There are some parent’s stories that devastate and destroy families, close relationships and some friendships. And for what? Revenge? The belief that they are protecting their children? I’m sure they have their own agenda’s that they will justify, but does that make it right??? And at what cost???

Someone I love, and care for very deeply has a former spouse who has done just that. Destroyed the relationship between their children and their father. Sure if she was reading this, she would say “he did this to himself” but the truth of the matter is… there are 3 sides to every story. One side, the other side, and the truth. The truth is… he loves his children very much. I NEVER could imagine in any world that he would ever harm his children, or anyone for that matter. He is such a gentle soul with a HUGE heart. She had her own beliefs and used the children as leverage against him in bullying him into saying things that were in fact; not true. It has been proven over and over again. I have been witness to this on many occasions. I believe in facts, and will never “just” believe what someone says without proof! Concrete proof!

It’s sad that these children will never truly know their father. How kind he is. How trusting he was in his own family, and how that trust destroyed the very relationship he cherished. Although he has come to accept the situation “as is” I hope that one day his children see the devastation that their own mother caused, and his children find their way back into his life.

Either way, he has accepted the fact that his children due to the actions of an ill willed belief/story that his former spouse conjured up, will never effect his happiness today or in the future.  

I am happy to be part of this man’s life, and will cherish every moment he is here to make me smile, laugh and love him deeper.

Friday, May 13, 2016

Be yourself!

No matter where you are, where your going, what is going on, who your with, or what is surrounding you... Be yourself!

Maybe you don't know who that is. Maybe your still discovering those parts. That's great! I say discover, discover, discover.... recognize and be okay with it. Love who you are today and know that we all make mistakes. -Were all human!

We all have a future self that we haven't discovered yet.

Love and Light

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

So helpless

In all my years I spent making my parents lives difficult. I sure do hate the fact that I feel as if my hands are tied in helping my mother.

She won’t move to Florida. She said that it’s too much for her. I can’t move there. Not yet anyways. I can when I retire, but that is at least 10 more years away. I sacrificed living in WA for my kids. I just moved, and I’m super happy here!

I, I just feel so helpless. She lives in Hawaii without a husband to help/emotionally support her. She is supporting my brother financially, and caring for her mother; my 91 year old grandmother. Her vision is failing her; she will most likely lose the ability to drive next year, and she is not 20 anymore. Someone needs to take care of her while she is taking care of others. 

I want to help her, but I am so far away. I feel as if my hands are tied. I do what I can, but I feel it’s not enough. I owe her so much.

Sure I know the things I did as a kid. I have guilt. I used to have shame, but within my personal growth, I have moved past that part of me. 

In my heart of hearts… I truly want to help her. Help her move. Help with her legal “stuff”. Help her with my grandma. Cook for her. Make sure that her house is clean. 

She is a strong woman, but I’m worried about her. She has alienated herself from everyone. Except her faith. I hope that whatever she is going through, she is able to find the strength to make it through it. I can and will do whatever I can from over here on the East Coast. I love you mom!

A bit obsessed

Maybe I’m a bit obsessed about me right now.
Is that really a bad thing?  I don’t see anything wrong with that.

I call it super focused on my mind, body and soul. That is very important to me. As a matter of fact, it’s numero uno on the priority list.

Making the decision to do those challenging things… to make a difference… is doing what it takes. I MUST do whatever it takes. 
Some sacrifices are worth it. -The bigger picture. -A better sense of self.

Am I selfish? Yes, but Patrick would call it… self-love. Doing and caring for the things that I need. Setting aside others and things that don’t matter for the greater me. Hell yes! --By all means that doesn’t mean be hatred and ignore others feelings. One must be respectful to others. Always!

Here’s to the journey of the deeper sense, of self-discovery. Higher intelligence, and a broader perception to the awareness and my future self.