Someone just recently commented
on a blog post expressing that I must be a troubled soul. –People’s perception
never seem to amaze me, as this comment was from a skewed perception in the
absence of the truth.
I know I’ve blogged
about this a few times. Honestly, my perception has shifted over the years, and
each time… I’ve shared the growth from which I’ve witnessed. BUT I wanted to
share again. -On a more detailed level!
Not always did I
believe this. As a matter of fact many, many years in my past, especially in my
childhood, I believed that I was the victim. Why me? BUT for many years now… I now
believe that if you want to be happy then you must start from the inside.
Unhappy
people are always searching for happiness. They believe happiness is reliant
upon the acquisition of something new or something different. They are
constantly chasing, but never attaining. Often times, they search for it in all
the wrong places. For example:
In their next purchase.
For too many, it has been ingrained into their thinking the proper way to
attain happiness is to find it in their next purchase. As a result, joy is
sought in bigger houses, nicer cars, cooler technology, or more fashionable
clothing. Most possessions never satisfy. In fact, the joy they bring is entirely fleeting. And
those who search for happiness in them are left to chase the next purchase… and
the next… and the next.
In their next paycheck. Perhaps, Zig Ziglar said it best, “Money
won’t make you happy, but everybody wants to find out for themselves.”
I know happy people who own less than me and I know unhappy people who own far
more. Money is not the secret to happiness. It never has been and never will
be. And the sooner we realize this truth, the sooner we can discover the
freedom that accompanies no longer desiring riches.
In their next relationship.
We were designed for relationship and there is great joy to be found in them.
But relationship, by its very nature, requires humility and selflessness. And
believing there is another person out there that can bring complete happiness
into your life is to embark on a journey with no destination… and often with
disastrous outcomes. Our relationships become far stronger and more fulfilling
when we stop searching for someone to meet our needs and start using
relationships to meet someone else’s needs instead.
In their next physical
enhancement. Healthy bodies
and healthy diets are important. I would never speak against their benefit.
They allow us to maximize our days and effectiveness. But those who seek
happiness in tighter butts, slimmer waists, and larger biceps are looking for
fulfillment in physical bodies that were never designed to bring such outcomes.
Happy people understand the importance of physical discipline. But they do not
base their happiness on their physical appearance.
In their next competition. I have come to understand the mindset of
competition in our world is based on a faulty premise. It assumes there is a
finite sized pie—that one person’s success in life equals one less opportunity
in mine. But this thinking is incorrect. The pie keeps growing. And those who seek happiness by
ruthlessly beating out another compete only against themselves. In reality, the
quickest way to find happiness in your life is to help someone else find it in
theirs.
In their next job. It is important to pursue work you love in an occupation
that contributes good to society and the world around you. This type of work
brings fulfillment and promise to our lives. Unfortunately, I fear too many
people nowadays are seeking the “perfect” job with high pay, few hours, and no
stress. But the perfect job doesn’t exist. Work always requires blood, sweat,
and tears—that is what makes it work. Again, those who are continually
experiencing disdain in their present career because they think the next one
will be perfect, are chasing happiness in the wrong places. While there may be
a time for change in employment, there may also be a time for change in your approach to it.
In their next escape. Unhappy people seek escape. They believe
distraction from their present circumstance is a shortcut to happiness. They
often turn to television, addiction, or weekend getaways to numb the pain. But
the entertainment always ends, the morning always comes, and the vacation
always concludes. Meanwhile, the present circumstances have not changed—they
have only been complicated. Happy people recognize their circumstances and do
not require escape from them. Instead, they choose to practice peace inside
them.
In the next person to solve
their problems. Blame is a dangerous habit, and a very real obstacle to happiness. Shifting
the responsibility for shortcomings onto another person or external factor
immediately eliminates any need or motivation to change. Instead, the victim
remains trapped in a cell they built themselves—waiting for someone else to
come solve their problems for them. But every time we blame someone else for
our unhappiness, we lose. And in the long run, it keeps fulfillment and
happiness just out of reach.
In
accepting things just the way they are.
Happiness can be discovered at any point in our lives regardless of our
circumstances. But finding happiness in them does not mean we are complacent in
the face of things that can be changed. It does not mean we stop striving or
growing or maturing. We do not use happiness or contentment as an excuse for
mediocrity. Instead, we walk forward in confidence and discipline to become the
best possible versions of ourselves—not just for our own well-being, but for
the well-being of others.
Your
happiness is based solely on your decision to be happy—and this may be one of
the most important life lessons any of us could ever learn.
My
final thought… Happy people know that happiness is a choice. They know it is
not a reaction to present circumstances. Instead, happiness is an available decision
despite them. They have removed the thinking that waits for everything to be
perfect before joy in life is experienced.
“Happiness
is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.”
—Margaret Lee Runbeck
