How far is too far?

In these days, the support that is needed from others to assist your childs(rens) success is predominately needed, but how far is too far?

Do we support or enable?

I say support, but sometimes I see that it can be mistaken for enabling. The difference to me is…

Support: Assisting in the dreams and allowing the individual to make their own decisions. Also on that note, someone who is working with a “can do” attitude and is doing whatever needs to be done to make things happen for their own futures. Taking accountability! -Sometimes this is a challenge. In certain times in our lives, we must make a “tough” call and not allow the person to dictate what you should or shouldn’t do. Bottom line the best road isn’t always the easiest road. However in the long run, it will serve you better. –I promise! (Been there done that)

Enabling: To me enabling is doing something for someone over and over again. This person may not be doing very much or anything at all for themselves; they may continue on with their behavior, as if they just knew that someone was going to step in and pick up the pieces time and time again. In my experience in watching someone enable another, I see the lesson in which is given. That is NO lesson is being learned! -This subject is a touchy subject for me as I just get irritated about how others enable people to keep doing what they are doing with no consequences in their actions or behaviors! Bottom line: All it does is hurt the person even more by not allowing them to see the lesson that is put there for a purpose, ergo prolonging the ultimate reason why things are happening for a reason!

So how do you know if you are being supportive or enabling?

This to me has an easy answer, and I feel that I outlined it pretty clearly in my “own personal definitions”

But, just in case you need more clues... ask yourself this… Is my help really helping? What is it I’m really trying to help with? Is it just putting the floor back underneath where it was crumbling out? How many times have I had to do this?

Keep going…

I woke up this morning exhausted!

Can’t say that in all my years, I have ever experienced seven hours of sleep and woke up feeling like I just worked a super long day. -I am definitely starting to feel the affects of age. To those who are older than I am, I know I am considered young; and, I feel young! BUT OMG!!! Two weeks straight of just hard long days are helping me to feel like I am not. The challenging thing about this is that I still have a few more weeks of this. I tell myself that I have to keep going, but if I continue to feel like this in the morning… I will be so burnt out! Will I recover? I know our bodies are amazing and I know that I will, but I feel like I am running out of steam and running out fast!

Thank you to the help we had this weekend in getting us through this transition. Thank you for the experience in understanding that this is going to be the last for the time being and for that matter… the next 4-5 years!

I am excited about this new chapter and I know that I have definitely earned some time off to reap the rewards of all this hard work. –Just wish it could be here sooner.

Just a quick note to show my gratitude and to voice my exhaustion; I know that I will look back on this at some point and say “Boy am I glad that is over and YES, we made it!”

Thank you!

So proud!

To all the hard work and long days... Not to mention all the pulling out of my hair to keep him on task...

The day has finally come where CJ has graduated!

I am so proud of his hard work and proud to see that he has risen to the occasion to go out of his comfort zone to make this possible for himself.

Congratulation's CJ, You did it!

REALLY??? AGAIN???

Some days I feel like the old “TOXIC” patterns just jump back into motion before I realize they are even there.

Awareness is a marvelous thing but I get tired of the circular motion of repetitiveness. I know that we as human species are creatures of habit, but REALLY? Why is it that we can establish a new pattern, and out of the blue, the old ones keep showing up? -Again and again, and again.

I used to be so self destructive and hurtful to myself, I allowed the judgmental and emotional side of my feelings to feel unconfident about my life or secure about which direction I am headed in; some days it just wants to just take over and I have to play tug of war. I know otherwise that the sure tail signs are showing me that my heart is winning over the mind battle. And that the things I’m doing are just falling into place. Are they? Or are they being forged into motion and then they just fall where I point them to? Either way the saying is “Go all in or go home” I am definitely a fighter! Some say stubborn and in many ways that has been true, but now that I am old enough to see the difference “I think” to make wiser decisions about what I do or where I go. Don’t get me wrong the mistakes are still there. –They always will be!

I know in my experience with life coaching, that the law of attraction is super powerful! It can be utilized in a healthy manor, or it can also be used in an unhealthy manor.

 It’s challenging for me to remember that thoughts carry vibrations of energy. With those old patterns that weave in and out, I have a challenging time with harnessing those negative judgmental thoughts that create the vibrations of negative energy. Boy, and when I finally realize that I am in that state of mind, the shift that needs to happen can make all the difference.

 For me to live with my heart and not my mind makes the battle so much easier to fight.

 Some days I feel like I have a grip on them. Some days my minds monkey chatter gets the best of me and I just spiral down into the abyss until I have the ability to say “ENOUGH”

 I just wanted to share that we are all human and no matter how hard we strive to be better, the old toxic patterns WILL weave in and out trying to get you to cave in. Live with your heart and no matter what life will meet you where you stand! Just remember to keep getting up and keep having faith in yourself!


Love and Light!

Grrrrrrrr sometimes I MUST remember to breathe!

I was misled by someone in an area of expertise that I really was counting on, and this situation has had me using lots of energy and time to research and explore. I was so upset to find out that he gave me wrong information! It frustrates me and makes me very upset. 

OK… Just me venting but remembering to breathe; boy oh boy do I feel like I have been used.

Thank you for the love I have and the patience I carry to be understanding. I am crossing my fingers that I found a new individual who will take the time to research and explore my options to make this happen for me.

Love and Light!

Please say this is the final time!

Sometimes I can't help myself... I wonder what makes people do the things they do.  I know that I’m wasting my precious time on others… but it just baffles me on what the reasoning is behind this.

If you lie about something long enough, eventually one starts to believe that it’s the truth. - Scary!

I am so thankful that when a person finally decides to let go, they do so.

Now the question is... Does it really happen for good? In the past the words come out saying that this is going to take place but the actions seems to be just the opposite. Whatever happen to integrity and congruency? Boy am I thankful I live by my set of principles and clear boundaries for myself!

I hope that this is a permanent situation this time.

Finally Re-building!

So excited that after many experiences, trials and challenges... I finally have the opportunity to buy another home. Hooray for determination and perseverance! OOOOOh and I cannot forget "Hard Work"

Thank you for the experiences that have carried me to where I am today, I am truly grateful for all that is in my life.

Yes to the challenges that are here to teach me something and for all the easeness that is here as well to show me that a content and peaceful life is truly deserved!

Love and Light!

Life is so up and down!

I can remember the time when I was just separated and life was such a state of chaos. I was desperately trying so hard to save my credit and keep us in our current state; for the sake of myself and my children. -But at what expense? I lost myself mentally and emotionally so that I could afford 2 mortgages and make all the payments to the marital debt that was an accumulation of… well more than just my choices. 

Then finally one day I woke up and saw the reality of where this was going. -This, as in me. I was headed for a disaster. In actuality, I was already in it; I was just choosing to hang on to something that was slowly killing me. So much time had drifted and I found myself falling into some pretty bad situations that I had allowed myself to fall into so mindlessly. It was time to clean house; so I did!

I made some very big financial decisions that would affect me incredibly and it was time to move back to Burlington and find a mindless job… who really cares who I worked for as long as I could afford to make my house payment and take care of things in a responsible way without killing myself. The job I found was so easy, that I could do it in my sleep and no cares about it when I walked out the front door to go home. It was the perfect balance to the chaos that was happening in my life.

It has been so peaceful for so long that for some reason lately it seems that chaos has found its way back in. Not because of me but because of the man who is in my life. 

Is my mother right? My life is never complete unless there is chaos in it, or did I ask for this? The answer seems so painful to think about. Stop thinking about it right? No! I say process it and feel it and make informed decision about it.

What is the right decision, I guess if I knew that, then I wouldn’t be battling this thought and feeling the tears that arise when I can set my mind still and just feel it.

I feel chaos, I feel pain, and I feel so lost in my direction at this point, that sometimes I feel as if I am working backwards. Feel with my heart not my mind. God how I hate the monkey mind chatter that keeps going on back and forth; self doubt. 

Is this where I am the happiest? Is this where I want to be? I am doing what I want? Is this the right decision? Should I be doing this right now? Should I be the back bone for someone else? Shouldn’t I be looking out for me 1^st? –Yes! I am number one, first and foremost! How have I allowed myself to slip back into putting myself on the back burner? Make the change and be in control of myself. 

It’s funny how we change the course and sometimes we allow those old patterns to rise to the surface and take the reins. Recognition! Thank you for opening my eyes through my emotions.

In order to get up, we must fall down.

Remember to have faith in ourselves and glance back and see how much you have grown. Reflection is essential in growing and becoming stronger within in your own power.

Understanding that victimization is not the answer; everything that is happening, is all part of the path that we must be on in order to grow. 

After having a deep conversation with a friend, I am so thankful that he has gratefully succumbed to this path of understanding. 

There is a fundamental human need for companionship, for a sympathetic ear, for reassurance, for hearing our feelings and sentiments echoed back, for touching and being touched.

Being alone is sensory deprivation, slow torture, and our souls cry out for a kindred spirit, for the comfort that only a friend can give, for someone who can fill the emptiness, who can share the isolated moments of our existence.

Loneliness weakens the spirit. It consumes our strength and dims our inner flame and power. It tempts us to wallow in self pity, to descend into a kind of gloomy rapture, depressed and paralyzed, yet at the same time glorifying in our misery, suffering proudly in our own private hell. 

For all that, loneliness is a state of mind, a sickness of the soul rather than an external condition, and it is entirely within our power to fight it, and perhaps work towards healing it.

Resisting loneliness is more than a matter of “keeping busy” -immersing yourself in so many activities that you have no time to reflect on your sad state. It involves following your interests, improving your skills, developing yourself as a multifaceted individual. It means going out and meeting people, making contacts, learning to survive in a social context; get out of your comfort zone! It means living your dream. Not at some future time when you might be finally in a relationship, but here and now!

Aloneness is a riddle we must solve in order to be worthy of the compassion of others, and therein lies the central paradox of being alone. –That it can either ennoble, or degrade. 

The essential difference between aloneness and loneliness is the anguish, the acute hunger for the contact that the lonely suffer. 

Could we but consider solitude a necessary journey of discovery, a crisis that may ultimately purify and strengthen us, and then we would emerge from this dark night of soul uplifted and exalted, more fully realized and engaged as a person. Once comfortable in our own company, reconciled to the austere beauty of silence, or privacy of total self-sufficiency, only then can we travel onward and explore the horizons of interaction, of exchange, or binding with our fellow humans.

Why we do the things we do…

Sometimes… ok most of the time I sit back and wonder why we do the things we do. Actually; I wonder why other people do the things that they do. -I know that I will never find the answer to that but people never cease to AMAZE me!

What is it that drives us to take the actions and the course we decide on?

Is it emotions?

Is it our hearts desires?

Is it other people?

Is it love?

Is it sacrifice?

Is it passion?

Is it greed?

I remember a long time ago, I once was a people pleaser. -Yep hard to believe for those of you who know me now; I used to do what was cool to fit in. As a child I lived a very sheltered life. Strict! OMG strict Korean catholic household and it was never easy to bend the rules or get away with much.

As a teenager trying to fit in, I did what others wanted me to do; I was an easy target to manipulate. But somewhere along the course of time and my experiences I have developed a sense of direction, a sense of boundaries and rock solid love for myself. I am so grateful to know the difference of people pleasing and doing what is right in my heart of hearts.

This was not an easy journey for me. Like any journey is ever easy right? -Anyways… I’m 35 and I have come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t matter. People are people and they are going do what they feel is the best decision. I laugh a lot at what people do, I get frustrated at times, but most of all I take everything with a grain of salt.

When I find myself giving my power and energy away to someone else’s actions, I just stop and take a deep long cleansing breath (maybe 2 or 3, however many it takes) and remember that this is my life and I’m in control of me and my actions. Other people are in charge of theirs and in the end everything will always work out. -Everything will work out. You’ll see!

Love yourself first; then reach out and love others! You will get what you give so reap what you sow and remember to love every moment of everything in your life as it IS part of the process.

Grateful for today!

Not so long ago I can remember being so far in the future and sometimes, so stuck in the past.

It’s sometimes hard to believe that I now live in the moment. I drift into the future and sometimes reminisce about the past but I never stay in either of those moments for too long; as the present moment is very important to me.

There is now a clear understanding of the “present moment” and what it truly means to be in it.

So many times in the past I have been given the education and the opportunity, yet I still missed the boat. Missing that great moment of seeing something so beautiful; because my mind wandered into areas that can be self destructive and disheartening

I see so many people who are stuck in one world or the other but cannot seem to grasp on the being here and now. That saddens me; I want to just show them a glimpse of what I know so that they would see for themselves.

Thank you for all the experiences and for all the times... I’ve missed the boat! Because of those moments; I am where I am today! Every experience has been a very valuable lesson that I can only get if I go through those crossroads and make a decision for the greater person in me.

Triad of Change and Re-organizational Healing

Yes another gate has passed and the thoughts are just rolling. So here it goes.

Have you ever been at a place in life where you feel “stuck?” Stuck in the day to day rituals of allowing time to pass but you feel as if you’re not going anywhere but around and around. Funny thing really… I know that I’ve been here before, but here I am again.

I accepted a job some time ago and about a year or so, I started struggling with that job. It was no longer congruent to my energy and I knew that I needed to quit; I wasn’t sure when but I knew what I needed to do. -The question was when? 

In September 2010 after a healing vortex journey, energetic healing massage in Sedona and some time to heal, when I arrived back in Washington and went to work the next day, I knew that I could no longer be in that environment; I was compelled with sadness; a sadness that brought tears to my eyes the entire time that I was there in the office. So I felt drawn to take a visit to my boss’s office and express my feelings of discontent with the position and that it was time to leave this job. It was so liberating to know what I was supposed to do, and just do it.

So here I am 4 months later and have had a lot of time to gather myself and get clearer of what I am to do here on this path. That was what I intended but I actually found myself at a place where I felt lost. Lost in my thoughts, lost in time and space of what I “SHOULD” be doing with my time. Some of that were old conditioned patterns trying to emerge again… “The conditioned patterns of you need to work hard to get anywhere” My only thought was to not think about it. Just let the energy flow as it may and in time, the path will reveal itself. Not sure how but it would happen when the timing is right.

My questions were… What is it that I should be doing? What do I love? Where should I focus my energy on? But no matter how many questions I asked I still felt discontent for myself and the path. I felt as if I put the intention out to the universe but I wasn’t receiving the answers or the signs. 

I went to the gate with those same questions and the intentions of the laser beam focus on what I wanted out of this gate. Not attached to the results but strong intentions.

This gate was a wonderful experience but most of all the Triad of change and re-organizational healing was very informative on my how my biological make up corresponds with the way I focus and utilize my energy. 

To understand that my Behavior is my prime, structure is my keystone and my drain is perception is such a concept to understand of how to put things in motion and to understand why I have been in such a rut for so long. The bottom line is that I have been in my mind and “thinking” about those questions when my modus operandi is of action. I knew that I say in my mind but to have the realization of understanding that is a different story.

Thank you for the path and the wisdom to see the doors open and not only that to say thank you for being an open receptor to allowing this change to take place. – I can’t wait to get home and do, do, do!

Thanks Wise World for this wonderful experience and thank you to the universe for unfolding these events. I’m also not going forget to say thank you to myself for “Showing up”

A time for thankfulness

I know that I was struggling back in 2008 and 2009. I know why, and I know what I was searching for.

 

In looking back over the past few years… I remember how many questions I had. I've learned... The quality of the question, determines the quality of the answer.  

This is my observation as of today… Not that many entries and even the journal entries in my offline journal are scarce as well. -Here’s to the gratefulness of discovering those answers and feeling good!  

Let it go!

In life it’s sometimes easy to hang on to those things that in our mind we “NEED” but really do we need that? Or is our mind trying to keep us complacent?

I remember when I was stuck on the idealization that I needed marijuana in order to get things done or to deal with certain situations in my life. In my mind I thought that it would give me energy, deeper thoughts and keep me on task. Lies after lies!

The reality is that I was comfortable; comfortable in staying in that frame of mind that I couldn’t see it any other way.

The truth is… once I got over the idea and the mind trap I was in, I understood that the minds job is to keep me comfortable. “Stay where you are and you will be fine”

So here’s the million dollar question… Do you really need _______?

(Those new shoes, to be in a destructive relationship, to lie)*It could be ANYTHING!

The most liberating thing you can do for yourself is have the “Awareness”

Then make those important decisions and get a plan of action.

But most important thing is… take baby steps! **Like a baby taking their first steps? They didn’t get up and run… They got up and stumbled before they even walked or even ran. No matter how many times you fall (and you will) just get up and do it again.

Have faith in yourself because you are a being of light on this planet and you will succeed.

With determination and perseverance anything can happen!

Reaching new heights!

For quite sometime I have been wanting to skydive... But the thought of being up high scared the bugeebers out of me so I have been procrastinating for quite sometime until... TODAY!

It is just another reminder to me of the brains way of keeping me in my "comfort zone"

This experience was so much fun that I am definitely going again!

Below is the link to view my pictures on facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=92742&id=1216724905&saved#!/album.php?aid=92742&id=1216724905

Boy, where does the time go?

An entire year has almost gone by and I haven't written much. On here or in my journal either.

I have been busy living life and living with a new perspective.

I used to have a website and it's probably still connected to my profile and wherever I may have put it but I shut that down in February 2010... why?

A new perspective of life has me understanding that I must live in the moment; day by day! I do not need to cast it out to the world to get validation back. I just want to live, breathe and love every moment in time.

I just wanna say in short that life is wonderful; still all up in the air and living by the edge of my seat but life is good.

I'm happy and loving my life and all it has to offer.

Are we really in charge?

I used to believe that I was in control and in charge. With age comes wisdom… Or shall I say education.

To some degree I still am in control, but only with what choices I choose for myself, and how I react to everything that comes across my path.

Let’s talk about the mind for a minute… The mind is the term most commonly used to describe the higher functions of the human brain, particularly those of which humans are subjectively conscious, such as personality, thought, reason, memory, intelligence, emotions and even dream.

As humans, we are bombarded with a variety of information. In fact, our brain is actually processing 400 billion bits of information every second, and if you had to deal with all the information that bombards your senses every day, you'd be constantly overwhelmed. Luckily, your brain chooses to filter the information for you ranging from the insignificant to the importance and consciously and we’re only aware of 2000 bits of information every second. OK, that’s way off the topic but what a profound piece of information to understand the infinite possibilities we have within ourselves!

For me, I believe that we are all amazing; amazing beings of light on this planet within the universe. We all have a purpose and gifts that we can offer and if we are open to seeing things, we are capable of anything!

Here are my questions for you…

1) What are your gifts?
2) What do you love?
3) Where is your focus?
4) Are you grateful?
5) Are you open to change?

Those were very hard questions for me just a few years ago, and I didn’t have the answers. Quite honestly I still don’t have all the answers to those, but some of those questions I’ve asked myself and in time, I did discover those answers.

I am extremely grateful for every experience. Yes, the bad and the good! I am grateful for all the people who have been a part of my life and for all the people who are in my life. Each and every aspect of my life up until now has shaped me into who I am today.

WOW! I am an amazing being! ***AND SO ARE YOU!

There is a balance, and in life where there is bad, there is certainly good too. You can choose how you see or react to it.

Find which areas in your life are not working for you, and shift your focus. What may not be working in your life could certainly be the key to opening the door to those answers. The question is… Are you open to seeing new ideas or are you stuck in a comfortable place where change is a challenge.

Remember FEAR is Finding Excuses and Reasons.

Don’t let conditioned patterns and FEAR hold you back. Take control of your destiny and find your true self.

Space in the brain

I don't know how to explain it. It's just gone.

My mind was a space of confused mind fuck and sometimes it took over. Yes I allowed it... I know but inevitably, I felt as if I was losing to my own mind. (CRAZY) Sometimes it drove me crazy with it's desire to "have to" figure it out. -Exhausting actually

Ahhhh the gate; Peace! Thank you to Sandy for introducing Network care into my world. I love you forever and ever as my life partner.

There is now a gap in my mind; only the outer edge of the surface feel as if they are analytical.

-My mind at ease with peacefulness. Ahhh!

Good music, good connection and good experience! Can't wait til the next gate in Denver. I'm already there in spirit.

Over analyzing again!

Sometimes I find my mind running. -Running with thoughts that drift; drift into deeper more analytical mind fuck. Yes, I cursed. That is just the perfect word for it too! -A sort of mental craziness per say. A record that plays in your mind... well at least I'll share what it feels like for me... Anyways~ It plays the same thought, the same doubt, and the same record of beliefs in which we have... over and over again..... and for me I'm questioning those.... What is healthy vs. unhealthy 4 me? Why not tell yourself something different and change it? Find your contrast and use it to guide you, to clarity. No matter what is going on in our lives.... REMEMBER there is polarity, and you can only find what you seek.

Time can fly -Eh?

There's just nothing to say when things are running so smoothly.... It's been a nice change of pace.

However, after this weekends trip to the island.... I noticed that I want to slow things down a bit. Maybe, after the first of the year, things will be off my plate to make life a bit more simplified. :-)

Up earlier than usual and I was just taking the time to notice that life just feels good.

Got teenager's???

I do; 2 boys & for me... I've learned that life keeps moving forward no matter what happens. I do see problems as an opportunity for a solution & I love life with a grateful heart. The choices we make, determine the path or outcome....

A good friend sent this to me, and I'd love to share with those who might b interested.... If you have a teen, invest in being open to new concepts. I did a long time ago and that is mainly why my boys and I are really close.

Here's the link & the email is below.... http://grownups.heyjosh.com/cmd.php?Clk=3336960

How many of these mistakes can u actually relate with? Or do you get angry by Josh's theory about our mistakes with teenagers? His story is amazing!

Here's what I got.... Outta 5; I've changed 2 of them. -I am so grateful for that awareness. AND -Yeah I am not perfect, and I can still relate to 3 other mistakes. One of those mistakes is a close personal challenge; I'm facing right now. -Mistake #4 Two of them I've become aware of and are in transition of changing. Mistakes 3&5 Some days I feel like a hypocrite and others, well I wish I had a magic wand. I think its funny; the mind frick we listen to within our own minds. -Where we choose to give our personal power. I am fortunate to have a very close relationship with my boys... It's just us and we all understand, that we need to work together if we want our family to work. Were not perfect, and mistakes happen along the way. I asked CJ to read the pdf doc of Josh's Mistakes theory and he shared, that he could agree that these 5 are true and that he can relate with a few of them, right now. Thanks, I'm working on, and I'm so glad to hear that I'm going the right way.. Happy Halloween folks! -------- Original Message -------- Subject: got teens? Alert. From: "Patrick Combs" Date: Wed, October 21, 2009 6:14 am To: "Kim H" Hi Kim, Got Teens? If yes, check out this new release from my friend Josh Shipp. With more than a decade of real-world, hands-on experience working with millions of teens, Josh is one of the most dynamic and entertaining experts for teens I’ve ever seen. (I've been impressed by him for years). Today is the release of his new product. It bottles his magic in an innovative, accessible, life-changing solution for adults and teens to tackle teens’ #1 issue head-on. I highly recommend this product, and you've rarely heard me say that before. I got a sneak peek at the product and let me tell you: this is going to change teens lives like nothing else I’ve seen. Take advantage his expertise, help a teen, and visit his site: http://grownups.heyjosh.com/cmd.php?Clk=3336960 It's a VERY comprehensive program for teens to discover who they really are while giving parents / teachers / mentors the tools to engage teens more effectively and authentically. Sharing Success, Patrick PS - Teens really need to know who they are, so that their self-image isn't defined by others messed up or low opinion. http://grownups.heyjosh.com/cmd.php?Clk=3336960 Good Thinking Co., Inc. 2240 Encinitas Blvd., Ste. D-140 Encinitas, CA 92024 1-858-759-6994 Patrick Combs www.GoodThink.com www.coachedbyPatrick.com Deanna Latson www.GoToHealth.com www.coachedbydeanna.com

Plan all u want BUT dont be attached 2 the outcome

If you would’ve asked me 5 yrs ago where I see myself… I wouldn’t have said… divorced again, and I would’ve never ever thought…-Bankrupt? However, this just happens to be what is going on in my life. Surprise! Something again that I’ve analytically planned out, that did not go as planned. Eh what is credit anyways? Well for me, credit was very important and has been my entire life ever since I left home at 15. This road traveled has not always been easy…. I’m sure like everyone; we all have said that in one time of our lives. I remember being under age and working myself to exhaustion, and being a young single mother made things more of a challenge for me. Oh yes… All my choice…. but back then credit was everything to me. I knew without good credit, I would never be able to buy a house and provide a stable home, or finance anything. But now my view of money and credit is different. My Bankruptcy has been a blessing in disguise really… I’ve lived a very simple life. Happy and very stable in my life mentally, emotionally, and financially but after a whirlwind marriage, that all changed. 4 years later, my husband left without contributing financially for the financial decisions we made together during our marriage. Eight months after he left… I almost ended up hospitalized for my mental instability and I was becoming very unstable to the point of giving up on myself. I was abandoning my children emotionally, -For what? -Pride? MUST be responsible and save my credit? -Money, debt, credit. Thank you for the experience I had with the loss of my husband to know what choices were more important. I felt I was at a crossroads in life. I was left with no choice but to let go of something I held very important. Being analytical has allowed me to get to this point in my life, but now living life day by day and not labeling the outcome or having judgments, allows me to live simpler and gratefully with my eyes open. I’m still learning here, but those lessons through those challenging experiences, have allowed me to become more aware in life and see things in a different perspective. Humbly grateful I am to being present in my own mind, body and spirit.

In Awe

Just recently I went on a road trip to meet and camp with some friends east of the mountains… all that really stands out for me on that trip, was that I enjoyed the drive more so than the weekend itself. It was cold at night over there. -6 degrees cold! Anyway~ on the drive there and back, I was admiring the vivid colors and all that mother earth provides for us. Not long ago those trees were once green but were now turning with the season, and nobody had to do a thing. It’s nature! Nature by definition means: OMG! It had so many meanings, but factually it means that naturally the earth flourishes without human civilization’s help. It really makes me think about GOD and the universe, and amazingly how everything we truly need is provided for us. The earth is so abundant! I am so happy and grateful that I do not allow myself to fall into the trap of socialism, materialism and any other isms for that matter. The ability to be able to slow down and see the simple things in life are very important to me. I do enjoy the nicer things and they would be nice but life is more important to me. I love to feel and love my way through life.