How far is too far?

In these days, the support that is needed from others to assist your childs(rens) success is predominately needed, but how far is too far?

Do we support or enable?

I say support, but sometimes I see that it can be mistaken for enabling. The difference to me is…

Support: Assisting in the dreams and allowing the individual to make their own decisions. Also on that note, someone who is working with a “can do” attitude and is doing whatever needs to be done to make things happen for their own futures. Taking accountability! -Sometimes this is a challenge. In certain times in our lives, we must make a “tough” call and not allow the person to dictate what you should or shouldn’t do. Bottom line the best road isn’t always the easiest road. However in the long run, it will serve you better. –I promise! (Been there done that)

Enabling: To me enabling is doing something for someone over and over again. This person may not be doing very much or anything at all for themselves; they may continue on with their behavior, as if they just knew that someone was going to step in and pick up the pieces time and time again. In my experience in watching someone enable another, I see the lesson in which is given. That is NO lesson is being learned! -This subject is a touchy subject for me as I just get irritated about how others enable people to keep doing what they are doing with no consequences in their actions or behaviors! Bottom line: All it does is hurt the person even more by not allowing them to see the lesson that is put there for a purpose, ergo prolonging the ultimate reason why things are happening for a reason!

So how do you know if you are being supportive or enabling?

This to me has an easy answer, and I feel that I outlined it pretty clearly in my “own personal definitions”

But, just in case you need more clues... ask yourself this… Is my help really helping? What is it I’m really trying to help with? Is it just putting the floor back underneath where it was crumbling out? How many times have I had to do this?