Falling apart with total anxiety!

I feel that I just can’t hold it together anymore. It'll be the wrong person at the wrong time and I'm going to go off like a bomb!

I feel like a released balloon that is flying around, out of control. All I feel is anxiety and anger! So much anger! Not rage, just frustration at the timeline of things. 

I want to cry, but when I try to allow things to be, I have nothing! I feel like Cameron Diaz in the movie, the holiday! I steal moments when a single tear is shed, but nothing more than that! WTF! I’m sick of this shit. Totally on auto pilot. I’m at the finish line, but this time, it’s a cliffhanger and I’m barely hanging on!

I have many moments of anxiety where I just cannot get a deep breath. I have to stop, touch the energy that is in my chest and breathe. I feel like I need to STOP!

Still have no idea how to run payroll, but really with everything that is going on… taking it day by day. I cannot think any further than that. Just too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe how much I have allowed this situation to sacrifice my boundaries! OMG!

Please allow me to have the strength to just make it through the next few weeks. I’m almost there!

The gift that keeps giving.

Lies, lies and the lies. This woman from Jason's past has caused more damage to the people in this family and the destruction it caused, is still giving. It is ridiculous! Honestly, it breaks my heart!

Not only did it affect the relationship for this family, it is now being carried on to the next generation. How fucking ridiculous!

I'm probably going to hell anyways, but fuck Susan and her fucking lies and bullshit. I'm glad your dead! The trauma you caused, the gap in time and the canyon between this family ever rebuilding relationship, may never happen because you were pissed that Jason wanted a relationship with me and not your fucking money hungry manipulative fucking ass! 

Although, I am not surprised, I am still in awe and cannot believe the lengths that people go too. But you kept your word! You said that IF he didn't fix his relationship with you, you were going to ruin his life. Good job, you succeeded! 

Him and I are on the other side of your destructive lies, but now your son is being affected. Not to mention your grandchildren. I know that this situation will make him stronger, but it is unnecessary bullshit!

Sorry to the Sherwood kids, if you ever read this, but it makes my blood boil! I cannot believe this situation of lies is coming up AGAIN!

Why play games. Is it worth it!

I fucking cannot understand why people play games!

Why do people lie? Why do people feel the need to say shit that is untrue. I don't get it! I will say that I have been pissed in my past relationships, but never did I make up shit that was untrue! Sure, I played dirty, but I never lied about shit! The bullshit that people pull is cut throat! Fuck people who lie, play games and try to deceive and distort things out of proportion.