In Florida, I was SO busy...
Gym, working on me.
Working, working for my financial goals.
Yard/Home, working on fixing my environment to be more relaxing. --Although, I never "really" truly relaxed. Sure I used the pool at times and while I cleaned up the dog poop in the backyard, I threw the dropped fruit from the tree into the canal to feed the turtles (My favorite part of living in the FL home). I actually just worked, worked and worked. Just like the Rihanna "work" song.
All at the same time, I blogged, blogged and blogged about how I just wanted life to slow down. For years, despite blogging about other things, I just wanted life to slow down.
Honestly, after making the move to NC in 2020, life has slowed down. Not a ton, but definitely a shift for sure. I haven't been satisfied in how fast life is still going and silently still desiring this to happen.
This cancer experience has forced me to slow down. Actually... has forced me to come to a complete stop. Days and days I couldn't even take a shower, do my dishes, let alone get out of my bed to do anything! It was such a challenge for sure and I did not like the feeling of doing nothing. That has shifted!
I am scheduled to start my new job on 8/14 and for the first time in my life, I have anxiety about that. I feel that I'm still not ready! I need more time!
So, I have decided to go ahead and move forward with starting, but will be acutely aware of how I am feeling. I MUST take care of me and put me first. I have some of my energy back, but I must move slow or my body starts to shut down!
I understand the lesson. Forced lesson, for sure! But, I get it! -Thank you!!!
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