Yes, yes, yes!

Breathe! Yes breathe….. -Finally a moment where life’s clutter is no longer in my way. My brain feels as if it’s finally clearing out the clutter of the crap I have been dealing with since my cowardly ex husband left without notice back in July. He has actually done me a life saving favor and I am thankful for the twist and the turns of how I arrived here today.
Although not the circumstances I would have ever dreamed of in a million years… I am truly thankful for the situation, as it has really opened my eyes to the true power I have within “me”

Clearing the clutter of the shit that kept me up at night and restless during the day has brought a new perspective of what busy really means to me. Busy is the way society has become and the drive that makes most of us just want more. More what? Materialism? Acceptance? A bigger Ego? Pride? What does busy mean to you?
I feel as if my life is finally starting to quiet down. Yes there is a lot still left to do but I have been getting organized and I feel better about all of it! My divorce, my unlawful detainer lawsuit to remove my tenants who are not paying rent, my finances, my debt and my life in general with the daily challenges I face just being a single mother. BUT I got to say…..I am determined to overcome all of those challenges that come my way. Yes there have been lots and for the first time in the history of my life, I feel as if I am the most powerful and driven woman that I know. I will NOT allow all those things or anything get in my way.
Don’t get me wrong…. Some days I am down but I, in time always pick myself up and move on. Sometimes those breaking moments are what I require for my own clarity. Clarity of the bigger picture here on this journey of where I am going. I am so excited as to the outcome after all of this turmoil. AND I just have to give myself a BIG kudos to me for being the person I am.
For quite sometime now, I have used coping mechanisms to get by and one day sometime ago I realized that I am doing a disservice to myself by not allowing myself to “FEEL IT” Coping skills are great if you want to put off your feelings or shall I say stuff them. AND I vowed sometime last year when I allowed all those hurtful feelings to come up, I was no longer going to live in the shadows of the fear of feeling something bad. I am going to cry, and get angry and laugh too. With the good comes the bad. It’s all part of this life and the balance of how it all works together. Like Ying and Yang.

Ahhh… the breath is so refreshing and calming to ones persona. Clarity is nice and having a sense of calm is very healing for me. It’s my time to remember the things that I want for myself. To have a purpose, to feel free from within, to just be me!

I love that I am here and it’s fall. The beauty of the leaves turning and the new season is vastly approaching. It’s refreshing to me as it’s a sense of a new beginning. Although I have had many of those, I truly feel as this one is the most healing experiences that I have ever encountered in my existence of being on this planet. Mother earth and the universe are amazing! Thank you for my place on this abundant earth.

I am in love with my life, and my children are amazing people who have been a huge blessing to me. We say that children are so abruptly honest and sometimes cruel but I am fortunate to have the 2 most wonderful boys that accept me for who I am! AND I accept them for who they are and the mistakes they make along the way as I know that this is how they learn. We all do… well maybe not all of us but those that are open and ready will see the lesson and change the course along the way.

Live life to the fullest because you never know what is to come your way. Never depend on others as they control what they want and always love yourself for who you are. Live in the moment and love the journey. The lessons we encounter are all part of the connection we have to each other and everything.

Thank you for everything, life and its lessons are truly amazing!!!!!!!!