A bit into what, where and how

Somehow for me to know who I was…. used to be a tough question for me to answer. For starters my name is Kimberli Hoerner; I’m a mother of a blended family, in which I am very much in love with, and I also have 2 Airedale Terriers –Leilani and Nui who are a big contribution to our family.
I believe that I’ve been on this journey called “Life” that takes us too many different aspects and dimensions of this planet in which we live on. Here’s a little of history on how I arrived where I am today.

When I was growing up, my families’ belief was to be “tough”. What does this mean? It meant that crying was a sign of weakness, and as a child you were to be seen but not heard. So this meant that I never expressed anything and I always stuffed all of my emotions and feelings. I was a child, I had no idea that I was stuffing my feelings and that it was unhealthy for me. I just knew I wanted the acceptance of my parents, so I did my best to stuff all of my emotions and keep quiet.

I remember my parents fighting, and with most families there was definitely dysfunction. In my childhood I encountered many forms of abuse. As a young child of 5, I was sexually abused by a close neighbor for quite sometime, emotional, mental and physical abuse from my mother, my father who just neglected me by drinking, and a few unpleasant experiences from being in the big city of Hawaii with no parental guidance. My 1st husband was abusive and during my marriage I endured many forms of abuse up until I had the courage to file for divorce and leave that situation. -I stuffed all of my emotions throughout that whole experience. After I divorced my 1st husband is when I started my walk with personal development. I was educated to work through my emotion. The problem for me was that someone just told me to work through it; they really never taught me how to do that. So I still didn’t quite understand how to do that. My friends never could assist me in my questions and give me some good feedback. So I just put this question of how to on the back burner.
When I married my 2nd husband, I was in a state of bliss as I was finally in a healthy relationship where I could freely express myself. 5 years later my husband had a massive heart attack leaving him in a coma for over 4 months. At age 24, I was faced with having to make the decision to continue to watch my husband waste away on life support or support what I knew he would have wanted. I only knew this, as we had this discussion in the past when his grandfather had fallen into a coma. His wishes were to discontinue his life support, although my husband’s parents felt much different about what I decided, I did what I knew was right. I knew I was supposed to work through my emotions and for once in my life I thought I was dealing with those emotions, but what I ended up doing was turning to drugs and alcohol to cope instead. What I didn’t realize is that I was doing more damage than good. In hindsight I realize now is that I stuffed every one of my experiences throughout my life as deep as I could. What this did was turn me into a ticking time bomb that would explode at any single moment in the right circumstances and placing me in a vicious cycle of aggravation.

Sometime after my 2nd husbands passing, I was determined to get my life together, after all I had my 2 boys to think about. I knew that bankruptcy was NOT an option and I tried to continue with our company but that didn’t work out. -So I shut the doors. I ended up selling almost all of our assets (which wasn’t much as we didn’t own anything) and got a job as an accountant. I worked hard and made extra money on the side as often as I could. I worked, worked and worked. No matter how hard I worked it seemed that I never got ahead. The logical thing to me was that I wasn’t making it and I had to start looking for a new job. Found it! I now was a Corporate Accountant and it seemed like the dream job for me. Beautiful for the first year and then suddenly at times I found myself working 50-70 hour work weeks and barely ever home with my boys anymore. -Turns out that it wasn’t so glamorous after all. Thank goodness for my husband, Tom who I'd met through my job, as he was our companies heating repair guy. He was there to take care of the things I wasn't able to as a mother. Sick of my J~O~B, I started looking for a new job that hopefully paid just as well but less hours. One day I came across this advertisement in the local newspaper that said "turn your annual income into your monthly income". It had a number listed, so I called. It was a young guy talking to me about “Free Enterprise” What the heck was that? Apparently I was a fit for what he had to offer. I got on a presentation call and I knew that this was my ticket to getting out of my job. I was broke at the time and the program required me to come up with $1,600.00. WOW! That was a lot of money but if what they said was true then what did I have to lose. I borrowed the funds on my credit card and dove into “Free Enterprise” Long story short I managed to make an extra $18,000.00 and what I spent was 10 times more than what I earned. BUT what I discovered from that experience was this…. It wasn’t the money I was supposed to earn; it was the experience and the knowledge I was supposed to learn. Because of the tools and the knowledge I now had, I was able to help myself, my youngest and my 12yr old in turning his negative behavior and failing grades around to the opposite of what it was before. CJ is now a A/B Student. I'm so proud !

In 2005, I started a consulting company and began to work myself out of this debt I was in. In December of 2006; I was then again introduced to “Free Enterprise”. Hesitant but this time I truly did my due diligence in this company. What I found was this… This company was similar to the company I was with before, however the integrity and the mission statement I was presented with was mind boggling! The money back guarantees they offered and the authenticity of these founders were far different that I have ever seen in this industry. I have done my fair share of Network Marketing –anywhere from Telecommunications, Mary Kay, Avon, Waiora, Pampered Chef, Quixtar, Ecoquest, Herbalife, Prepaid Legal, Liberty League, EPI, Primerica, etc… All in which I wanted something but was never really congruent with my product. This time I am so excited to be part of something so big, that I made the decision with my husband to become a visionary of this company. -Our company is DYP. So I’ve been with this company since the very beginning, and the products have just launched in 2007.

Tom and I had the opportunity to be part of the making of these transformational products and I was so excited for the next part of my journey. Of course I had no idea what lies ahead of me…….
For so many years now, I have done my best in dealing with all of my so called “emotional stuffing”. What this means is… I’ve learned to deal with the emotional stuff that comes up in life but never had the courage to go back and deal with the past. (There was a reason some of that stuff was down there stuffed so deep. –It hurts!) Those emotions sometimes rose to the surface and I just kept stuffing them back down as I wasn’t ready to deal with it, and that I had no idea how to do that. I knew that I should and I wanted to, but how? My life long struggles were suddenly a challenge that I was ready to deal with. How? Just keep asking and be open to the answers. Last November I attended the Breakthrough Conference in beautiful Puerto Rico at the most beautiful resort I’ve ever stayed at. -Grand Melia. During this conference I laughed, I relaxed, I danced, I cried and I broke through some of my life’s biggest challenges I have ever faced. There was a guest speaker that presented a tidbit on stuffing emotions. WOW! -Talk about Law of Attraction! Thank you! I was listening with my undivided attention and I discovered a whole new concept of emotional stuffing, and how to allow those feelings to come up freely, and purge them out. You see, she taught me that just like our body in fighting off disease, our spirit naturally fights for us too. She called our past emotional stuff, our “oils”. As we continue to pour good thoughts, feelings, and stuff into our mind, our “oils” will naturally arise to the surface. We also did a four square exercise that assisted me in breaking through a deep seeded belief that I had about never being good enough, or that I even deserved it. For the first time in my life, I felt uplifted and like I deserved everything I had and wanted in my life after this exercise. I now understood why from time to time those stuffed feelings would naturally come up and that I should allow it to. Now what? I continued to go through my 56days to destiny program through the Discovery series. Using this program gave me the courage to go through this journey and the tools to assist me in releasing this emotional baggage and purge those things that came up. The other important thing I got from this program was the understanding of this process and how it all works conjunctively with each other. The last and final piece was the Discovery Mentorship Sessions. On Saturdays Discovery Mentorship sessions with mentors who live and teach through their wisdom and experiences there are so many special guests. Guests, who gave me the tools to change my beliefs of who I was as a being and to breakthrough many of those deep seeded beliefs of the conditioning I received as a child. The good things I poured into my being with all of my personal development, just made those stuffed feelings rise quicker and pour out of me like a cup over filled with dirty water. I will admit going through this stuff (and I know I’m not done as I’ve learned some of the triggers along this journey) has rocked my world and turned it upside down for a short time period but wow what a gift to me and my life. I would’ve never dreamed in a million years that this company was the true inspiration to the hugest transformation in my life.
I feel that since I was able to have this experience in my life, I would now be able to share with others. Today I am thankful for everything and everyone who is in my life. I feel emotionally free for the HUGE amount of emotional baggage I had been carrying has been left behind and let go. Talk about a weight being lifted off my back. I believe that we all have a gift and a purpose here and until we truly get in touch with ourselves on the inside, we will never find that part of us. We all are capable of whatever it is we so desire. The saying I’ve learned is…”If we don’t go within, we go without” I have been in turmoil for most my life, and now that I have learned the true gift of purging that turmoil and dissattaching myself from the outcome, life is just what happens along the way. ~Riches are gratitude and money is just the by-product.

My deepest wishes to you and your prosperity~
Kim Hoerner