Awakened

On the day of Awaken, Donny said to me, well actually to the Network doc who was entraining me “You know what her deal is, she loves the concept of awaken” What? I feel the most alive I’ve felt in my entire life! My eyes are open, I’m awake! WTF, what do you mean?

What is awaken? What is its true definition?

It’s a verb, its true definition is: to awake; waken.

Then Donny entrains me, or shall I say ROCKS MY WORLD!

Let’s take a step back. I want to encompass the entire picture here. -----Not too long ago, I blogged about a layer of tears lingering under the surface. I didn’t know what they were, or why they were present in that moment. I didn’t know why they had been triggered, or by what. I wasn’t questioning them either. I just knew they were there. Of course I wanted to know what they were, but more so, I wanted them to rise to the surface so that I could allow the feelings to be expressed. BUT NO, that never happened. Since the day I blogged, I’ve let them go; forgotten about them really. Honestly that day, they were very present to my body and since then, the feeling had subsided.

By the way, a big shout out to Donny. THANK YOU!!!!!

Okay, back to my kick ass entrainment… When I was on the table and Donny was telling me that the feeling of being awaken is not separate from me, invite them in and be one in unity. Okay, let’s bring my energy, attention and breath together. AND then… BOOM, just like that it happened, my mouth opened, and a very DEEP sound came from deep within; like it had just escaped freely from god knows where. Then the tears just flowed, and flowed. Snot flowed and more tears; uncontrollably I just allowed them to flow. I didn’t care what I looked like, this felt GOOD. I remember feeling someone tucking tissue into my hand (thank you) and needless to say… it just wasn't enough, but OMG... THANK YOU!!!!! After my entrainment, I was then carried to the floor, I curled up into the fetal position and continued to cry obsessively. It felt so good, like I was releasing something that had been shackled, and held back, but had finally been released. OMG sums it up!

After that moment, the bliss of truly being awakened was present. The love that filled my heart, my entire spiritual being was overflowing with gratitude. In that moment, I felt as if I was lighter in light and that I was on cloud infinity. I cannot ever remember a time, of ever feeling as if I did… in that very moment. 

To live a life in Awaken is a gift that I am so thankful for. I thought I was awake, but now I know different. I can see and feel the difference within my own soul. Thank you for this gift, thank you for the true spirit, thank you for the essence of light and thank god for being our creator. Life is heaven. Sure we may encounter challenging tests, but happiness is a choice, and love is always present. 

Give love, give life, live in peace and be true to your spirit.

Talk about trusting the process

I will try to keep this short.

Back in 2013 I started a conversation about a job in Miami. My potentially new boss asked me. Have you ever been to Miami? Do you know what it’s like here? My answer was simple. No, I’d never been to Miami, and I didn’t care. I could be happy no matter where I was, as long as it was warm and by the beach. He said “People are rude here” I remember thinking… How people are, and behave is on them. How I allow it to affect me or I react… is on me. My response to him was “There are rude, mean, pissy people no matter where you are in life” -I don’t allow others behavior affect my world. I knew it was a direct correlation of their world, and had nothing to do with me.  Anyhow, let’s get back on topic. 

I was assured that things were in order, and that just certain parts of the job were not being done, therefore, I accepted the position. I sold my home and moved across country. However, when I arrived here (I wish I would’ve taken a picture of the mess and the many multiple piles) things were NOT as stated. Long story short… despite being lied to, I stayed. I cleaned up and implemented and handled the things that needed to be done. They clearly needed my help!

In 2015, I was almost fired. Why? Because, I brought my ethical expertise into this office, and it was not how they operated. Nonetheless, I started to lose my drive for this company. I thought that over time, things would change. Nope! I continued to stay. Why? I had responsibilities. I couldn’t just stop paying those. My modus operandi is to follow the law ethically and honestly. I couldn’t perform my job at the level of professionalism in which I believed in, and little by little as I continued to stay there… I lost myself. My beliefs were still there, but I would second guess myself, I became self-conscious and dwindled into this cowardly soul. I realized that this job was sucking the life right out of me and I couldn’t allow it to continue. Dying a slow death where you lose the sense of who you are. No longer worth the trade. I was supposed to stay with this company until I retire, but I just couldn’t do it. 

So I quit. I took a leap of faith and just trusted that this was part of the process, and in the end… it will all work out. Scaaaary… OMG!

Trusting the process has given me the time away to regain my footing, find my courage again and become that rock I know that I am. I’m so excited to announce that I have found a job with a rock solid reputation; not only the company but the partners as well. They believe in being ethical and being on the up and up with technology and believes in being forward thinkers! This company is within biking distance (if I wanted) from my house and appreciates and considers me as an asset. They truly take care of their staff and I am so glad that I trusted my instincts, trusted the process, trusted myself and trusted that in the end when one door closes… another one will open.

Challenging my faith

Growing up in a strict Catholic household, my mother always was faithful in her beliefs, and living a religious lifestyle. Of course as a rebellious youth, I fought her on everything. I didn’t want to go to church on Sundays; especially Korean church. Ugh! No, please don’t make me!

It was only when I became a teenager, I willingly made the decision to choose Christianity. I fell in love with a local church (His Place) and the people involved within this community. Until one incident occurred back in 2001 that rocked my world; my beliefs.

Since that incident, my beliefs have shifted. I no longer believed in labels. I felt strongly that there was a higher power but to label it GOD was something I couldn’t stand behind any longer. However, from time to time I found myself praying. Asking the higher powers that be to assist me in one way or another. I found myself swaying to call upon GOD. It never felt right to say “higher power” --Dear Higher Power… no, it just didn’t work. I found myself, fighting myself on this belief that I had set for myself. Until now.
 

Just recently, I’ve been awakened to feel the love within, and understand that the higher power and god are one in the same. I have no idea why I was fighting this concept as I called “labels” but it feels good to just allow it to be what it is.

With all the love I have in my heart and soul, I understand that sometimes the concept(s) I’ve set for myself could be limitations or someone else’s beliefs. Staying true to my essence, spirit and love will lead the way. Lead me toward the path in which I’m to follow and trust the process.

Thank you for the true awakening!

Joy in my heart

Nothing but joy in my heart!

In everything I see, I feel the energy of joyfulness and love.

As I'm sitting here, waiting for my 4th entrainment, I can't help but feel the tears of joy running down my face, and throughout my heart, and soul. Love, love, love.

Namaste.

Emptiness

Emptiness... Space... Not in a negative way, or any kind of sadness, but a space of clearing. In a space of being content. A space with no thoughts, just peace, stillness and quiet.

Just being in the space of right here, right now. Being present in every moment.

The space in which has been created to make room for my future self.

Excited to meet my future self!

Celebrating and setting new goals

I am not always near an online connection, and in those times, I have a journal I sometimes write in. Truth be told, when the moment arises, I take advantage of the thoughts, emotions and feelings... I must jot them down. I wanted to share an entry I wrote back on April 17th, 2016. I believe this experience was so strong, I did blog about it too, but this entry that I wrote was a sense of massive frustration for me and a commitment to myself.

I wrote: I feel out of control. Why am I so out of control? Control of myself. I committed to stop a life-long habit, get healthier with my diet, exercise, balance, and quit my job.

Today as I sit here in Denver with no distractions, just time and space, I opened this journal to reflect and put down some thoughts. As I reread my earlier entry, I realized... I manifested those desires into my reality.

Ever bit of that entry has come to fruition.
1) I'm eating healthier. Not all the time, but 95% of the time. I deserve to indulge with my passion and love for food.
2) I finally did get the courage to quit my toxic job.
3) I have made BIG waves at the gym, as I've surpassed my original goals, and have now created new one's
4) I have ditched the life-long habit, and the desire is no longer present.

Time to set new goals. Time to be real about what I want. Time to manifest my future self.

Again as Michael Losier would say "what do you want"

Thank you for the reflections of the past, in order to celebrate the present.

Cheers!