Be in the moment!

The future has a place, but (to me) the present moment is the most important. I learned a long time ago to not live with expectations. I do have certain areas of my life where I do carry expectations; like my job or how I want a certain project to look like in the end. --I believe it’s important to live for today but plan for tomorrow. Plans may always change, so flexibility is very important.

My opinion… being in the moment allows us to feel and be with “whatever” is going on. Positive or negative. And for me… I would rather feel and process what is “right now” than what could be. Although… feeling what could be is a whole other topic on visualization; let’s just stick to one for today!

Love & Light!

Still finding my way.

At some point in my life I’ve developed these beliefs; these things that I thought I had to do in order to feel better with myself.  Where did they come from??? I have learned that everything in life is a learned behavior, but how did I develop this one belief? 

--What’s funny to me is that I’ve been telling myself that I should go back and get through my past experiences. Essentially feel and deal with those bottled emotions. Honestly, that’s what I’ve been doing in therapy for almost 2 decades. My perception and thought was… “Only then will I feel that deeper sense of myself.” I would tell myself… If I don’t help “me” then I cannot help others. But the truth of the matter is that I already am, I have been, and that will never stop.

Here’s to a FB post that allowed a very dear person in my life to provide a great perspective and unsolicited advice. True words of wisdom! –Thank you! 

HER ADVICE” MAYBE YOU SHOULD FORGET THE DOWN AND DIRTIER SHIT...SOMETIMES IT IS WISE TO MOVE FORWARD IN THE SERVICE TO OTHERS...YESTERDAYS ARE GONE” 

That concept has shifted my thinking in a different direction. Yes, moving forward. What does Kim want? Let’s start asking more quality questions about the future; my future self, instead of going backwards to old discoveries which don’t really matter for me today. Yes, those situations have affected me in some way or form, but just like my job… it does NOT define me!

Love & Light!

Cannot concentrate!

Have you ever wanted something, no NEEDED something, and no matter how much you desire it, it’s so far out of your realm of making it happen. Despite how many times you’ve tried and tried… it just isn’t happening. Grrr. I’m so frustrated; to the point that I can’t even concentrate anymore! At work especially! Trying to keep myself busy, but it’s getting beyond that point now.

Oh man, oh man, if only I could satisfy those desires and give into the temptation without feeling guilty. One day, I’m going to slip, and not be able to turn back time. The questions for me is: is it bad to give into something I’m not getting right here, right now? AND haven't been in a while!!!!

The inner most animal sense of me says no. The inner morality says yes. 

Ode to the highest power, please give me strength to carry on. I don’t know how I’m going to keep going like this, I feel as if I’m going to explode!

Tears

I feel this wave of tears behind my eyes. Actually, for a while now, it’s been a wall. -holding back something! I don’t know why and maybe I’m not supposed to know, but when I heard this song it released that wave of tears and in that moment, I realized that it’s time to start. Really start! 

Stop this little by little shit, and make the conscious decisions that you know you need to do, and just do it -them!

For too long I have been taking care of other things for other people, other people, and basically, NOT ME!

You can call me the cold hearted ruthless bitch, but I’m done! I’m done denying myself the things I desire, I ache for and cannot seem to live without any longer!

Change is a challenge, but if  I"M going to make a difference, then the conscious-ness of the shift must take place. Not tomorrow, TODAY!

Can you empathize with others?

I know that in some situations I can, and others, I simply cannot. It just depends on the context of the situation.

In a heated conversation, Jason said to me “You need to have more empathy” and I strongly disagreed with him. I cannot feel empathy for others in every situation, and that doesn’t make me a bad person. However, in certain situations, I am able to have empathy; there is a difference between empathy and sympathy. AND I always have sympathy for others. Even though the situation may be self-inflicted, or the person continues to be in the situation because they are “in” their own way.

For me, empathy is the ability to experience the feelings of another person. It goes beyond sympathy, which is caring and understanding for the suffering of others. Both words are used similarly and often interchangeably (incorrectly so) but differ subtly in their emotional meaning.

Here is the difference between the two

	Empathy	Sympathy
	Understanding what others are feeling because you have experienced it yourself or can put yourself in their shoes.	Acknowledging another person's emotional hardships and providing comfort and assurance.

I love you Jason. I love that you want me to care, and I do! I love people, I love to listen to their stories; trials and tribulations, and I love to share my experiences with others. Bottom line for me is… in the end we all want the same; to love and be loved, to succeed and be happy. I want this to come true for everyone, and imagine how the world would be a different place, if we all supported and loved each other. Instead of holding angry grudges and plotting vengeance against one another.

To the peace and oneness of the world!

To be truly loved for you

To be truly loved for you; not for what you can give or provide for others is what I feel a relationship should be based on. Okay among other things…communication is important and attraction too, but let’s be real here! AND --Don’t get me wrong, I get that we all have gifts that we share, and opposites attract. I get that I have things that I’m good and some areas that need attention, and so does my partner. Those are gifts that we can share with each other, but I’m not talking about those, I’m talking about materialism.

Today’s world is filled with so many materialistic, narcissistic, and selfish people who have some kind of agenda or ulterior motive. To meet the people who are honest and humble are a rare find, and I appreciate those individuals, and wished that this world was filled with more love towards one another. We all want to succeed, why not support one another!

For once in my life, I realize that my heart’s desire is to be loved for me, truly me. Maybe I have said that in the past, but the words and the heart’s desire of what the words really meant weren’t congruent. Now my heart is open to what my eyes see and I feel that for once in my life, I truly understand what that means!

I feel that my man does love me for me, and I’m so lucky and grateful he does. Honestly, there is no reservations about our relationship there. Except, it takes a strong person to be in a relationship with me, and I know this about myself. Although things have changed within me as I continue to grow, I know that I’m pretty stubborn. Yay to awareness!

My opinion is to get clear on what you want in a relationship; not only the outward appearances, but in the innards as well. Are you treated with respect? Does your partner carry, or support you? Do you feel loved? Do they make you feel like you are the only person they desire to be with for the rest of their lives? And the most important one to me is; do you have fun together?  For me… playing, laughing are important aspects of a relationship that is thriving!

The saying goes… actions speak louder than words. Although words still effect how you feel, the actions always speak louder!

Love and Light!