Sharing my JOURNEY....

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Gratitude!




Lately I have had such an overwhelming sense of gratitude! --An overwhelming feeling that I feel the tears of happiness. 

I am so grateful for…

My mother, who made my childhood challenging, but taught me to be strong; despite the hard times in life; you MUST pick yourself up and try again. -To never quit! At a young age, I watched her leave an abusive situation; leaving everything behind to start over. I am so proud of her. So proud that despite her challenges, she has had a very successful career and was able to retire and reap what she sowed. I love you tremendously!


My father, who is stubborn, if not more stubborn than I am. Who was strict in his unwarily ways and made me stay in a place that taught me the best lesson I could ever learn. If it wasn’t for you, who knows where I would be today. Those hoodlum days are behind me, and I’m so glad they are!


My 1st husband “Joe” despite the abusive situation and the emotional/mental challenges I faced in our relationship, you made me find the strong willed woman that I am. I found the part of me that can accomplish what my heart desires. I am also so grateful for our son, as he is very precious to me! AND last but not least, I’m so grateful that we are friends.


My 2nd husband “Chase” who showed me true unconditional love. You were the love of my life! Even after your death, you continued to show me the effects of your love, and how deep love can resonate with one’s soul. I’m so sorry that you were not able to see your precious baby boy grow up. Despite not knowing or remembering you, I’m so grateful he has your great big heart. He resembles you SOOOO much. -I miss you tremendously!


Leanne Haywood, the most wonderful therapist who has been in my life through all those hard times. 14 years we had together, and I will never forget how you assisted me in changing my perspective, and turning those most negative thoughts and deepest dark times into a learning moment; how hard I must fight in order to keep myself together. Thank you for listening, thank you for being there for me, thank you!


My 3rd husband “Tom” who took everything “materialistic” away from me… I’m so grateful for you showing me that no matter what hits me in life, I can start over and rebuild. I am truly deeply a strong woman, and with my strength, I can achieve great things in life. I’m grateful that you taught me the value of money. OR shall I say the non-value of money. 


Jason, you are the man, the rock, and the sunshine on the rainy days here in Florida. I am so happy that I can be the one that guides you to finding your heart, your core, and your strengths. I am so happy that I challenge you to be the better man, than I know down deeply you are! I am so grateful that I can share the wisdom, the love and the congruency of who I am to the core. –I love you!


Last, but not least my children. You boys were my rocks, my drive, and the reason for fighting in my life. You are my angels, and I’m so happy that you both are strong enough to be living on your own terms in a state that is many thousands of miles away from me. Moving to FL was a hard decision, and I feel so selfish for leaving you. But as I’ve taught you. You MUST take care of “you” first and foremost. -I miss you boys immensely!


The bottom line is that I am here because of me, and the people who have crossed paths with me along this journey. I am a better person because of it, and I cannot wait to see what my future holds for me. 


Thank you!

Monday, December 14, 2015

Yay! I get to Bake!!!

On the 23rd, it’s our Christmas Luncheon at our office, and I’m so very excited that I get the opportunity to showcase my baking skills. Time off to do so, and finally, I get to do something I absolutely love to do. Bake, bake and more baking. Baking is so calming for me… I get to use my creative side to express my love and gratitude for food. Okay, sugar but really, I’m excited that I get to unwind and bake without being rushed. 

This year’s deserts are… Cappuccino brownies, fresh fruit tarts, and lemon tarts.




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Saturday, December 12, 2015

Plans change when you least expect it.

Just when you make a decision to do something. Wham! Something comes out of left field and changes your plan. 

I have so many thoughts and things on my mind that I feel so bottled and stuffed like a rag doll. I am so excited that I have 10 days of vacation coming. I plan on unwinding, and taking the time to do those things that I have been too exhausted to do. I can’t wait!

Here's to vacation.


Friday, November 20, 2015

Change my mind!

Sitting at a keyboard that is readily available vs. time to write in a book. -Not happening! -I change my mind about blogging. 

Blogging has been a healthy habit for me, and when I decided to journal instead... it never happened. I've decided that blogging is something that is serving me well. To journal in a book is definitely a thing of the past "for me"

Right now, I feel so bottled up and have so much say, that I've decided, it's not healthy for me to keep thinking that I'm gonna some day journal. 

Blog it is!

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Disconnecting



Is it me, or am I just becoming “old school” – I wouldn’t of ever though that about myself in a million years, but I find technology exhausting! Yes, I’ll admit that when I want to find a good restaurant… Yelp is fabulous! AND, I love the fact that I can shop online for those things I cannot or choose not to waste my time driving around for, and that I can research those things that have captivated my attention… BUT, I will limit myself to those times when it’s necessary to use my devices. It’s bad enough that I am connected to some sort of device for work… almost all day! -Our world has become so dependent on technology. 


If you are a student, or perhaps a teacher, if you want to research anything… information is so reachable by the right combination of words or phrases on a search engine. AND that’s a good thing, or is it??? Is what you read true? Is it opinion? For me, I feel so consumed by technology, devices, television and so lost in the divine of our natural world. So, with great pleasure, I’ve decided to go back to basics. 


Honestly, I may not disconnect 100%. I will keep my cell phone, to keep in touch with those that are far from me. My TV for when I want to watch something or curl up to a good movie. My laptop for the times I need to find a great recipe, shop for something specific or send something by email. --BUT I am no longer going to blog online. I’ve decided to write in a journal again. I truly enjoy and yearn for more connections with the world right outside my door. People to people, nature and loving what is intended for us as human beings. Technology is great when used in moderation, but I’m feeling the deeper desire to disconnect, and be more connected on a personal level.


So, this will be my final online blog. I will be utilizing the people to people social connections going outside and doing those things that I LOVE! –Being connected to my natural surroundings and with Mother Earth.


May peace, love, many blessings and joy surround each and every one of you!

Monday, June 8, 2015

Today is my birthday. Happy Birthday to me!

Many, many moons ago I thought that life would be different for myself; much different than where I am right now. I understand that there is a higher power that is ultimately in control and, I’ve had to learn to roll with the punches. 

Kids were never part of that plan, yet I have 2 wonderful adult boys… men! I am so proud of them. Proud that they are living life on their terms and seeing that life isn’t as simple or as easy as it appeared. It’s hard to believe that they are 19 and 22. Boy, oh boy, the math of me being 30 isn’t quite working out in my favor anymore. Hee hee, just kidding! –I have no shame in my age, nor do I feel that age means anything. I’ve met 40 yr. olds who are immature and childish, and 20 yr. olds who are wiser than most. (at that age) To me, it’s just a number.

Honestly, for me… I cannot say I am living life wholeheartedly right now. I have fallen so far off my beaten path. I’m starting to realize that in order for me to get back on track… I must make changes. NOW! Therefore I have. S-L-O-W-L-Y -- I have started to finally make the time to get back outside & be more adventurous! It’s not all about my career, to me it’s all about balance. 

I live in sunny Florida, how, can I ever say the weather is too bad to go out in it. Actually it’s the opposite, but only in the summer… the weather is scorching hot to be out all day. BUT the early mornings are NICE! And realistically that leaves me 8-9 months of being out in the weather whenever I want. 

Anyways… today is my birthday, and despite my upbringing. I’m happy to be me!

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Work, work, work with no play –BOO!



Ever since I moved to Florida, it has been, work, work, and work. From coming in from out of state, oblivious to the reality of the situation here in Accounting; replacing my predecessor and cleaning up her massive mess, all I’ve done is work, clean and work some more.

Things are running so well in Accounting that I believe that I finally can breathe more. Yes, things come up, and shit goes sideways from time to time. More so than I’d like to admit. But I can multi-task and find those solutions I seek. –Thank you for that.

It’s time! It’s time to start playing more. I know that I’ve said this before, and I’ve made a valiant effort at it, but I always seemed to revert back to work, work and more work. BUT, not this time! 

Last weekend, my really close friend & I, went to Oleta State Park and discovered a new spot for kayaking and mountain bike riding.  I’ve kayaked for many years in WA in the lakes and some of the ocean but never in Florida. Mia my Vizsla loves to kayak, and I haven’t gone as I am concerned about alligators and wildlife targeting my dog as a snack. Sooooo we went and did some recon first; to scope out this park and its amenities. --I’m excited as I now have a wonderful spot to discover… at least until we discover another spot. There is a canal of mangroves leading out to the ocean and these islands. To finally get off the land and start discovering the open ocean and its small surrounding islands along this coast. 

This doesn't look far in the picture as I zoomed in a bit, but I'm guessing that I could spend an entire day playing in the water.