Sharing my JOURNEY....

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Thank you for the awareness!

Tonight I met a gentleman who I believe has been brought into my life for a reason…. A reason for which I am not sure but the magnitude of the connection was unbelievable! It’s late and I just wanted to share that with you….. I am grateful for the process and the journey in which I am on.

Today was beautiful and I had a blast!

Love and light

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Outta my head and into the process

What is it that I’m supposed to be doing? AM I really supposed to be doing that? You know thinking about what I’m supposed to be doing… Just relax! I am so in my head right now with I’m not doing good enough! BUT I know that it’s a process and these things take time. So I’ve decided to do what makes me feel good!

Today I’m tense for some reason… I feel unorganized and in sorts. So today I’m cleaning out my files and paperwork. Here’s to continuing to purge the clutter.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Get outta my way... I'm on a mission!

Today I’m feeling as if everything is ok still. This path feels like a flow of energy that I’m amongst.

I fell today and all I can say is, I’m glad it’s my left foot. Thankful for that one, it coulda been my gas pedal foot. At least I can drive to where I gotta go.

I feel happy and content today. I just wanted to share that.

My friends came over for dinner today. To be in good stimulating company is a change in pace. I almost forgot that I really love to converse with people. All these things that I knew existed at one time of my life is coming back! I feel as if I’m stronger than ever. Everyday I am manifesting money into my life and I’m here to celebrate that.
I played with my dogs today and that felt great. I spilled the box of BB’s all over the floor while I was playing, and I laughed at myself.

The change in pace is much nicer and calm. Here’s celebrating a new beginning.

Next week I’m gonna go to Seattle for a few days and start looking for work. I’m gonna stay with my cousins I think? Excited to try something different in life; something I love and want to do….. Dance!

Lots to do on my mission…. I will check back in a few days.

Friday, August 8, 2008

I'm so greatful for ALL my friends!

Sometimes life has an interesting twist in store for you, you just don’t know it yet!

Maybe there are signs….. But are you open enough to be aware of those signs? Take action?

So I have been asking my husband for a divorce for quite sometime and every time I do… I am promised that things are going to get better and then that’s when the cycle started. No more empty promises for me.

So looking back on it now…. I see that the night that Tom left was NOT a Bipolar episode. (This is what I've been telling myself) I've now learned the truth. It was a breaking point! -The point of not being able to take it anymore.

Here’s my only negative energy on this….. It’s too bad that this happened the way that it did. I am very hurt because I know I deserved the respect of a conversation knowing what changes were about to happen in my and the children’s life. I’m a planner! No instead Tom leaves for a business trip and before he leaves he empties the Burlington home of stuff and doesn’t come home after the trip. He never called for 16 days! WTF! OK I’m done…..

So yes Tom and I are getting a divorce and in the beginning it was a sleep deprived whirlwind. Now that the dust is starting to settle, I have discovered many things.

For quite sometime now, I have been searching for something…. My POWER! The very thing that I educate people that we all have, we just have to feel it like a super flow of effortlessness forward motion energy. Where was my inner power? I knew that before I met Tom I was strong, confident, beautiful, and sexy. During my marriage, I lost myself in translation. How? Uhhh dunno. All I know is that I booked myself a 1 way ticket to a spiritual healing retreat. There’s something wrong with me? Baggage? Deeper Shit? What? I was searching.....

So here’s what going on for me now.

I’M BACK! BUT EVEN STRONGER.....It’s amazing to me the detour I’ve taken in life.

A divorce… I never thought it would ever happen again. The massive debt load and the pressures of being a single mother are just a few things that hinder my thoughts on occasion.

This I know… I’ve learned that in order for life to change you must FEEL it on the inside first. Only then will the universe unfold and reveal the very thing you manifested AND for the first time ever, I feel MY POWER and it’s absolutely amazing! To me it’s like a calm serene place that is filled with peace. To be connected to myself is an amazing accomplishment. Interestingly enough… The very thing that I was searching for (MY INNER POWER) was that I just needed to take the control of myself and my best interest. Which was the decision to finally move forward in divorcing Tom.Thanks Tom for leaving me. I've never been dumped before, it was kinda weird to me. ~Anyways.... To be connected feels like I'm a freight train that is at full momentum with effortlessness.

Get the hell outta my way! Cuz this girl is focusing on making this all work and recovering from this challenge. I haven't figured out what my lesson was, but it definitely is on my mind. Along with 100 other things too. I'm so glad that I can multitask!

I know in my heart and soul that I’m going to make it! Everyday I manifest more and more into my life and for once, my life it’s going as planned.

No more struggling with the stress of another person not doing their part. -Just me and my accountability.

To you and your accountability....