What an amazing day is was today!

Despite being short a team member, having a hellish headache, payroll day, and those extra duties that come along with being shorthanded… I managed to have a fantastically productive day. It’s amazing to me that without any effort those nagging distractions just seem to fall away by themselves. 

Thank you for taking away those distractions. Thank you for revealing the very moments that make such an impact on one’s existence. Thank you to the most infinite universe, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to give back.

Love and Light!

I’m ready!

I know I’ve blogged about this before, but this is really resonating with me, and I want to express it again. 

For my entire childhood and most my adolescent years, I remained bottled. I bottled my emotions, feeling, opinions, thoughts and actions. Over time, even as a child, that developed into a passive aggressive behavior that affected not only myself but all those around me.  

For so many years, I dreamed of breaking through those stored bottles, and feeling those “hard times”
 

Even as an adult, I was afraid for many years, I knew the pain that was stored down there, and I wasn’t sure how it would change me if I let those things bubble to the surface.  But the desire to process it was stronger than the fear, and I jumped off the ledge and had faith that this, on an unconscious level would be what I needed to do. I truly and whole heartedly desired to live life freely. AND… I’m happy to report that for the first time of my life, I can say that I have, and are! 

So, this brings me to the present moment. (Stage 6) --I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready for more depth of my being to be revealed to me. I desire to go beyond where I am, stretch my emotional and unconsciousness to a more developed state of mind. Bring light into the congruency I so desire, and reveal the deeper more inner core of my soul. 

Being involved in Network Care has been the greatest gift, and I can’t wait for the gate in February! 

Bring it on, I’m ready!

Knowing your triad of change

What is the triad of change? How does it work? Well Donald Epstein is the one who taught me this gift, and instead of trying to explain it, I would rather introduce you to Network Care, and the “many” gifts that it offers. 

Right now, my triad is: Behavior, Structure, and Perception. What does that mean???? --If I act on a certain structure then it will be a positive thing. If I think about what I should be acting upon, I am draining my energy.

I realized this weekend that I’m relatively stuck in Perception, which is draining my energy. I’m analytical, and thinking is what I do. I know that if I do what I’m thinking about, instead of just thinking about doing, life will resonate and flow with ease.

How I ended up here –AGAIN is amazing! To me, in this moment, I am celebrating the smaller moments in time that it takes me to see with open eyes; to realize that I’m re-tracing and visiting those old patterns.

I know that inevitably, we will never forget, but how we choose to move forward… makes all the difference in the world!

Thank you Network Care for giving me the tools to revisit these old patterns, and not get stuck (for too long)

Gratitude!

Lately I have had such an overwhelming sense of gratitude! --An overwhelming feeling that I feel the tears of happiness. 

I am so grateful for…

My mother, who made my childhood challenging, but taught me to be strong; despite the hard times in life; you MUST pick yourself up and try again. -To never quit! At a young age, I watched her leave an abusive situation; leaving everything behind to start over. I am so proud of her. So proud that despite her challenges, she has had a very successful career and was able to retire and reap what she sowed. I love you tremendously!

My father, who is stubborn, if not more stubborn than I am. Who was strict in his unwarily ways and made me stay in a place that taught me the best lesson I could ever learn. If it wasn’t for you, who knows where I would be today. Those hoodlum days are behind me, and I’m so glad they are!

My 1^st husband “Joe” despite the abusive situation and the emotional/mental challenges I faced in our relationship, you made me find the strong willed woman that I am. I found the part of me that can accomplish what my heart desires. I am also so grateful for our son, as he is very precious to me! AND last but not least, I’m so grateful that we are friends.

My 2^nd husband “Chase” who showed me true unconditional love. You were the love of my life! Even after your death, you continued to show me the effects of your love, and how deep love can resonate with one’s soul. I’m so sorry that you were not able to see your precious baby boy grow up. Despite not knowing or remembering you, I’m so grateful he has your great big heart. He resembles you SOOOO much. -I miss you tremendously!

Leanne Haywood, the most wonderful therapist who has been in my life through all those hard times. 14 years we had together, and I will never forget how you assisted me in changing my perspective, and turning those most negative thoughts and deepest dark times into a learning moment; how hard I must fight in order to keep myself together. Thank you for listening, thank you for being there for me, thank you!

My 3^rd husband “Tom” who took everything “materialistic” away from me… I’m so grateful for you showing me that no matter what hits me in life, I can start over and rebuild. I am truly deeply a strong woman, and with my strength, I can achieve great things in life. I’m grateful that you taught me the value of money. OR shall I say the non-value of money. 

Jason, you are the man, the rock, and the sunshine on the rainy days here in Florida. I am so happy that I can be the one that guides you to finding your heart, your core, and your strengths. I am so happy that I challenge you to be the better man, than I know down deeply you are! I am so grateful that I can share the wisdom, the love and the congruency of who I am to the core. –I love you!

Last, but not least my children. You boys were my rocks, my drive, and the reason for fighting in my life. You are my angels, and I’m so happy that you both are strong enough to be living on your own terms in a state that is many thousands of miles away from me. Moving to FL was a hard decision, and I feel so selfish for leaving you. But as I’ve taught you. You MUST take care of “you” first and foremost. -I miss you boys immensely!

The bottom line is that I am here because of me, and the people who have crossed paths with me along this journey. I am a better person because of it, and I cannot wait to see what my future holds for me. 

Thank you!

Yay! I get to Bake!!!

On the 23^rd, it’s our Christmas Luncheon at our office, and I’m so very excited that I get the opportunity to showcase my baking skills. Time off to do so, and finally, I get to do something I absolutely love to do. Bake, bake and more baking. Baking is so calming for me… I get to use my creative side to express my love and gratitude for food. Okay, sugar but really, I’m excited that I get to unwind and bake without being rushed. 

This year’s deserts are… Cappuccino brownies, fresh fruit tarts, and lemon tarts.

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Plans change when you least expect it.

Just when you make a decision to do something. Wham! Something comes out of left field and changes your plan. 

I have so many thoughts and things on my mind that I feel so bottled and stuffed like a rag doll. I am so excited that I have 10 days of vacation coming. I plan on unwinding, and taking the time to do those things that I have been too exhausted to do. I can’t wait!

Here's to vacation.

Change my mind!

Sitting at a keyboard that is readily available vs. time to write in a book. -Not happening! -I change my mind about blogging. 

Blogging has been a healthy habit for me, and when I decided to journal instead... it never happened. I've decided that blogging is something that is serving me well. To journal in a book is definitely a thing of the past "for me"

Right now, I feel so bottled up and have so much say, that I've decided, it's not healthy for me to keep thinking that I'm gonna some day journal. 

Blog it is!

Disconnecting

Is it me, or am I just becoming “old school” – I wouldn’t of ever though that about myself in a million years, but I find technology exhausting! Yes, I’ll admit that when I want to find a good restaurant… Yelp is fabulous! AND, I love the fact that I can shop online for those things I cannot or choose not to waste my time driving around for, and that I can research those things that have captivated my attention… BUT, I will limit myself to those times when it’s necessary to use my devices. It’s bad enough that I am connected to some sort of device for work… almost all day! -Our world has become so dependent on technology. 

If you are a student, or perhaps a teacher, if you want to research anything… information is so reachable by the right combination of words or phrases on a search engine. AND that’s a good thing, or is it??? Is what you read true? Is it opinion? For me, I feel so consumed by technology, devices, television and so lost in the divine of our natural world. So, with great pleasure, I’ve decided to go back to basics. 

Honestly, I may not disconnect 100%. I will keep my cell phone, to keep in touch with those that are far from me. My TV for when I want to watch something or curl up to a good movie. My laptop for the times I need to find a great recipe, shop for something specific or send something by email. --BUT I am no longer going to blog online. I’ve decided to write in a journal again. I truly enjoy and yearn for more connections with the world right outside my door. People to people, nature and loving what is intended for us as human beings. Technology is great when used in moderation, but I’m feeling the deeper desire to disconnect, and be more connected on a personal level.

So, this will be my final online blog. I will be utilizing the people to people social connections going outside and doing those things that I LOVE! –Being connected to my natural surroundings and with Mother Earth.

May peace, love, many blessings and joy surround each and every one of you!