Unfolding the Heart's Desire

So much has been going on that I seriously have NOT made time to blog. I always promise myself that, this time will be different. I will blog more; I will take the time to make it happen and this time… I quit my job so what was my excuse (this time) The fact is, I will stop making those promises right now. If I really wanted blogging to be a priority, I would make it happen. But I did not. I had other higher priorities that took precedence, and I got a PT job to occupy my time since I was going crazy with boredom. On a side note, my house was SUPER clean, and my yard was beautiful!

On my last entry, I spoke about my feelings on how things went with my previous employer. Yeah, that was a hurtful situation, and the pain was around for quite longer than I really wanted it to be. My choice to keep it in my thoughts. Now it is September. OMG… what happen to the time. It just flew, and even with COVID… it still flew!

I am happy to report that with lots of energy work, love of landscaping, the urge to clean and organization, and time… all is better! Breathing wonderfully and have forgotten about SMC. Truthfully, I learned of something recently, and I could feel those feelings getting stirred and found myself pissed all over again. Therefore, consciously, I decided that I can no longer entertain discussing or thinking about it/them. Let it go with full intention of not revisiting that again, now that I know it is a trigger! Yes, to awareness!

So, I took a PT job, and ended up leaving after 4 weeks as it was not a good fit for me. Clear on my boundaries and how “I” want to be treated. Funny thing was that I was treated well as I established my boundaries right from the beginning, but the others around me… not so much and I just could no longer continue to keep myself in that toxic environment. So, I took another PT job, and unfortunately got soooooo bored, I just could not continue with it and ended up leaving.

On 7/16/2020 before I started that second PT job, I took some time to journal a list. Frankly, I’m sick of starting and leaving jobs. I really want to find my “home” -work home that is!  I felt that if I got clear about my future self with a new job and set it out to the universe to allow timing for the law of attraction to work its magic. Amazingly, I am here to report that I am set to start that new job in just a few days. Honestly, it was earlier than I ever anticipated, but I’m happy to report that the universe has unfolded 20 out of the 22line items listed for my new job. There was a few that were off a bit, but close. Like… I want to be within 20 minutes’ drive to my office; I’m 26 minutes. Other item was if I had located a higher role, but after really thinking about what was presented, I decided that I am moving to NC to take life a little easier, and a step back was just what the mind, body and soul called for. I though that my last employer took care of their employees, but I was wrong! My new employer really values and takes care of their employees GREATLY through all their benefits! Amazing company and I am SO grateful for the gift that the universe unfolded for my future self. I am excited!

In hindsight… painful as it was to leave my last employer… it was the right thing for me to do. For my mind, body, and soul. AND… I would have never been available for this opportunity if I didn’t make those hard decisions “then” -Thank you!

What you don’t see

This is an old picture, but it represented an amazing analogy that hit home for me.

In society, people can be so judgmental!  Whether it’s the car you drive, your family, the clothes you wear, your house and/or the neighborhood you live in, either way it’s all inclusive of someone’s outward appearance. As a person who has experienced this first hand many moons ago, it is empowering to claim it, and recognize the gifts it gave me during that hardship.

Honestly, you never know how a person arrived where they are or if it’s what they want for themselves or frankly, why others are the way they are. What are the experiences, or reasons behind it? Is it because of their experiences, or is it generational following?

We as the “outsiders” have no idea of how deep one’s roots go. What I mean by roots is… experiences; cause and effects. We have no idea what happened to one another unless we were directly involved and present; or if it's a generational upbringing, or if it's how someone feels, unless they are willing to share openly and unfiltered… nor the scarring of those embedded experiences. 

How deep do other’s roots go? These roots you see, are from 1 of my trees that was cut down when we overhauled my backyard. The tree was a small, but a climbable tree, and these pieces are just a small portion that I was able to capture in this picture.

It was a reminder to me… It’s not what you see, and you never know by what’s on the surface, and you never know how deep things TRULY go! So, before you go JUDGING, try to stop yourself and try to be compassionate and humane. Your criticism could do further harm than good! Our society is cruel and so judgmental, I hope that collectively we as a human race can be aware of our actions and have compassion for each other.

Try holding out your hand for others in helping them up! Rather than be judgmental and pushing them down! Let’s show and be more loving! Imagine how the world would look, if we could just be good to others! You know that is how you want to be treated! So how can you expect that to be reciprocated, if you are not willing to be and act in that manner. ---You get what you give!

What are you giving to the world?

Are we really in charge?

I used to believe that I was in control and in charge. With age comes wisdom… Or shall I say education.

To some degree I still am in control, but only with what choices I choose for myself, and how I react to everything that comes across my path.

Let’s talk about the mind for a minute… The mind is the term most commonly used to describe the higher functions of the human brain, particularly those of which humans are subjectively conscious, such as personality, thought, reason, memory, intelligence, emotions and even dream.

As humans, we are bombarded with a variety of information. In fact, our brain is actually processing 400 billion bits of information every second, and if you had to deal with all the information that bombards your senses every day, you'd be constantly overwhelmed. Luckily, your brain chooses to filter the information for you ranging from the insignificant to the importance and consciously and we’re only aware of 2000 bits of information every second. OK, that’s way off the topic but what a profound piece of information to understand the infinite possibilities we have within ourselves!

For me, I believe that we are all amazing; amazing beings of light on this planet within the universe. We all have a purpose and gifts that we can offer and if we are open to seeing things, we are capable of anything!

Here are my questions for you…

1) What are your gifts?
2) What do you love?
3) Where is your focus?
4) Are you grateful?
5) Are you open to change?

Those were very hard questions for me just a few years ago, and I didn’t have the answers. Quite honestly I still don’t have all the answers to those, but some of those questions I’ve asked myself and in time, I did discover those answers.

I am extremely grateful for every experience. Yes, the bad and the good! I am grateful for all the people who have been a part of my life and for all the people who are in my life. Each and every aspect of my life up until now has shaped me into who I am today.

WOW! I am an amazing being! ***AND SO ARE YOU!

There is a balance, and in life where there is bad, there is certainly good too. You can choose how you see or react to it.

Find which areas in your life are not working for you, and shift your focus. What may not be working in your life could certainly be the key to opening the door to those answers. The question is… Are you open to seeing new ideas or are you stuck in a comfortable place where change is a challenge.

Remember FEAR is Finding Excuses and Reasons.

Don’t let conditioned patterns and FEAR hold you back. Take control of your destiny and find your true self.

Loneliness

This morning I woke up just feeling a bit blue. Why? Well I thought about that and I believe it’s something that is deep and really stuck in my emotions. Thinking that someone has to be there to hold me and make me feel good. No! This is an inner feeling, not an outside feeling. But what do I do? I go out and partake. Is that to deal with my emotions or to hide them? Wait! I know that! No it’s to cope with them. Yeah I say that I know this, but no matter how much I know it… I still cave in and end up disappointed at myself in the end.

I believe that being alone will allow me to feel the layers of my feelings. Lately I’ve had some mindless thoughts which brought up thoughts that I’ve never had before. Thank you for the openness.

Being “ALONE” well for starters I have a few habits that I know that I’m finally at the point where I’m finished! No more vices. It’s all about oneself, MY personal power.

I no longer need the mind to take over my body. The body I have learned will take over itself if you allow it… I can fix my aches and pains through breath work and working with my nervous system with a practice that’s new to me. It’s called; (NSA) Network System Analysis. It’s amazing and I’m just getting started. I committed myself to start feeling in life and I have the integrity to start taking action on those words and emotions. It’s no longer what I THINK is right, it’s what I FEEL.

In my discoveries I saw that I needed to change the strategies of what I was doing, if I wanted to change the outcome. I took the most important things to me and essentially assigned priority as to the one that was my #1.

I discovered that getting exercise and eating with a healthy lifestyle is the most important to me. Being conscience of what I’m putting into my body.

SO what did I do? I wrote a list of circumstances, thoughts, possibilities of what could get in my way.

I logically understand that I must recognize my patterns and to see what stopped me b4. I will then have the awareness to know what to change.

Now the challenge comes in and to put myself to the test of what I am WILLING to do.

Just some quick thoughts

It’s weird… It’s like almost 4am and I feel great!

I went out tonight and danced for a bit but the dance floor was way too crowded. So, I did a lot of people watching… I love that! For me it’s an outside perspective of how we as humans react, dwell, express ourselves with bodily and facial expressions just in having conversations. You can see sadness, just the same as if you saw joy. There is such a diverse amount of personalities and lifestyles that I can watch people for hours. No big topic but I wanted to share something I really enjoy doing.

I realized something tonight that I’m sure I’ve spoken about in the past but it’s time to stop talking and start taking actions… I really need to SLOOOOW down in life. Stop thinking about every possible angle and start allowing things to unfold. I’m so freak’n analytical that sometimes I just get in my own way. Man I’m aware of this, yet it still continues to happen. Changing a lifetime habit will take some perseverance and persistence if I want to make that change.

Ahhh yes more realizations and awareness’s that keep coming forth for me to focus energy in whatever decision I make. Am I surviving and healing or allowing victimization and turmoil?

Everything in life is about choice!

Love and Light!

Kimberli

Choose wisely

It has been a life long battle of choosing what to focus on in my life.

As a child, I had as most of us all had...a dysfunctional family. My family taught me that I was supposed to stuff every emotion and feeling I had, and they taught me that crying was a form of weakness. As an adult now having gone through some very traumatic experiences in my life, I know better than to stuff my emotions. Here's the thing, we are human and creatures of habits. My emotional stuffing taught me to be a "tough" woman but my conditioning I received as a child has led me to believe how I am not in control of me. This is not true!

Our parents do the best they can do with what they have been conditioned to believe through their childhood and what they were taught. Some parents want different childhoods for their own children, some parents believed that this truly was best and do what their parents did.

Needless to say up until the year 1996, I was a helpless victim in my life. The WHY ME phase... However, I have been exposed to the most transformational experience through my journey of this thing called life. Personal development is something that most of us in this world are never taught. Yes, were exposed to some of it through school or something else, but never really taught how to apply it in our lives.

Today I'd like to talk about Law of Attraction.

This morning, I woke up with that old conditioning of money controlling my thoughts. Thoughts like... I'm broke, how am I going to make the bills next month, the business is still here and not sold yet...etc.

But then I remember some of the basis of my personal development. -Law of Attraction. It is this… What you put your attention, energy and focus on, is what you get more of. I don't want more of me feeling like I'm broke, in debt, -blah -blah -blah. I have to change my focus on what I do want. I have to remember to be grateful. I have to keep my eyes on my goals and the things I'm fighting so hard for. As soon as you lose focus on what you want in life, you've allowed that in which distracts you to win the battle. The goal is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The journey to get there is not pleasant. Keep you sights on the goal and never lose focus of that and the journey wont matter as it's only part of the experience you will be able to share with someone who might be struggling along their own journey.

I actually am not broke, I have money in the bank, (even in savings) not sure why I had these thoughts and feelings this morning. Habit? I don't know why I continue to struggle with this challenge of conditioning that I know is junk in my brain. I am so grateful that I have so much abundance in my life. I am grateful to be part of a company that changed my life within all of my children and my personal life long battle. This company has given me the biggest transformation in my entire existence, and I know that I will share with everyone this product, so they too change their lives. Thank you

Thank you law of attraction for keeping focused on what I do want and making that happen for me with ease and effortlessness.

The DVD I'm watching since it's not listed in the database is "Awakening" It's from a Arizona based company who created life transformational products. They really do transform you into what you truly deserve out of life.