Evolution at work

As children we are at the mercy of our parents. For generations, the beliefs of our ancestors is passed down to the next generation. Therefore, our parent’s beliefs are projected onto their children. Not that it is bad or good. It is, what it is. 

Children grow up and take those beliefs and either fall into the same or not. That’s the beauty of self-preservation and freedom.

I have blogged about this before. Each time, the perspective is different, but overall the feeling has been the same. I was so upset and appalled at the actions of my husband’s ex-wife. Not only for the threats, but the rules that surrounded him in having a relationship with his children. She made it clear that if she did not get her way, then she would ruin his life. She did follow through on her promises, and the children and their father have become estranged for over a decade.  

It was rough in the beginning to sit idle and watch as the pain riddled through his psyche. But with endurance, love and time, that has changed! -I am so proud of my husband for digging himself out of the drama that surrounded this broken and bleary situation. For finding the strength to dig deeper and find himself, again. Not only find himself, but to evolve and grow into the man I know now. 

Setting all that aside, what bothered me the most is that the lies have penetrated this family so deeply that a child has gone to counseling to “deal” with something that isn’t even true. My hopes is that one day, these children will find out the truth about the situation. His ex-wife believes this made up story so much that it has become “her truth” and now, the children’s truth. However, the reality is that she forced someone to say something that wasn’t true. She never believed him and held the children hostage from him until he admitted to something that was never true in the first place. Even when he said what she wanted to hear, or in her case… she will say “suspected”, he still was not able to continue a relationship with his kids. Missing out on so much and creating this broken-ness!

She will say, I have recordings where you ultimately confessed, but the truth of the matter is… even though he repeatedly denied and pleaded with her, she never believed him. Not being able to see his children, hurt deeply! Therefore he knew that he had no choice but to succumb to this lie. He began to make up stories about what had happened, he couldn’t remember what he lied about and the story kept changing. She recognized that and started to record the conversations to “help” her remember what was said. Then proceeded to use those recordings against him, in helping destroy him. 

A mother wants what is best for their children and in this case, I feel so bad for the children! To lose their relationship with their loving father over a lie is just appalling!

One day, hopefully these kids will want to seek answers and my hope is that they rebuild their relationship. I know that I would love to get to know his children, and their children! He is such a wonderful man. I truly feel that his children would be an extension of such love. 

Cheers to hoping that change CAN and WILL happen. Trusting that the timing will be sooner, rather than later! But, if it never happens, then I am sad that the children have lost out on the opportunity to really see and learn about their father as adults, as parents themselves. 

With loving energy to the universal powers in unfolding the things that are SUPPOSED to be. –Thank you!

Truth for what it is

As the girlfriend of my wonderful partner, I just cannot stay quiet any longer. I have been patient with all of this but I am now venting from a perspective I feel is appropriate for this situation. I am so beside myself that this anger and drama is in my life at the hands of someone else; I am so enraged at how my partner’s ex-wife is seeking out ways to catastrophically ruin his life and career. All because she has created this story that she truly wholeheartedly believes. Just because it is untrue, doesn’t mean it’s untrue in her mind; she is mentally unstable and in my opinion, emotionally hurt that my partner no longer has any desire to stay in an abusive and hurtful relationship. Using the kids and threats to keep him in a situation that is self-destructive is certainly unhealthy and I am SO proud to see him grow to a point to take a stand. In my eyes… to see the path and have the courage to make those hard choices, takes guts!


As a victim myself of a child crime, a crime where the gentleman was never criminally prosecuted due to his age; made me so angry, angry with myself, my parents, and especially with the person who committed those acts against me. “An innocent child” What did I do, all my life growing-up, I self-destructed, and rebelled against everyone. The memories of the experience have stayed with me my entire life, and for the most part they don’t affect me as much as they used to, with the exception of the intimacy with my partner. Painfully there are intimate situations where I have to make myself listen to the “self-talk” telling myself that it’s OK. Honestly, no person should ever have to go through that, but the fact is there are some of us who do.

My partner has been kicked, kicked, kicked, and kicked and when he finally was able to become strong enough to pick himself up and walk away, he was threatened by his ex-wife that she would ruin his life. Despite the threats he left and continues to be drug through hell, because one woman can’t let go!

You can only kick a person so many times before they are going to get sick of it and start figuring out that they must take precautions and start protecting themselves.

What I don’t understand is why??? Pride??? If the stories she told were actually true, justice would have been done. You blame it on the loop holes in the law; look at the facts! The fact is he has proven time and time again that these stories are untrue. The truth of the matter is my partners ex-wife kicked him so many times and if he didn’t submit to what she was asking… then she would threaten him of taking his family away from him. Bottom-line. He did whatever she wanted and in the end he lost all of his children and lost a very promising career. Of course her children are going to believe whatever the she tells them. As children we are born to rely and trust our parents.

It’s just such a shame to see these kids lose a father who truly loves them; it’s a shame to see these children believe a lie that isn’t even true, and for all the years and time they will be without knowing the truth and having their own father in their life. He has sacrificed everything to just do what he thought was right for his children and his family; even in sacrificing his own beliefs and himself. I hope as human beings they grow up to have the desire to want to seek out the truth and see the true colors and actions that really did take place because one person couldn’t let go!

I love this man with all my heart and I will boldly say that love is NOT blind in this situation. I see and feel a deep connection with my partner that I know without a doubt in my mind that this is all about revenge and needing to find satisfaction and peace from something that is outside of oneself. That is truly sad to me. I feel sad for the generational errors that are being passed onto these children by just being in and around this type of behavior. We are born innocent but we learn from what we see.

Time will pass and the truth will be revealed for what it really is. We have decided to not get swallowed into the drama and publicity that is knocking at our door. We just don't have the desire to give any energy into this "crap"

Some people just never let go!

I understand that Anger goes deep; real deep! I also understand that no matter how much we love and forgive, anger will still exist. I know…I am speaking from my own personal experiences. I was angry for so long and at so many people. I am so happy that my renewed sense of energy has brought me to a higher level of spiritual understanding. Not godly… spiritual! There is a difference.

I am grateful that I am aware that I am past the High School attitude (most of the time… sometimes I have my moments of temporary brain lapse or just plain stupid-ness) but it absolutely amazes me to see adults acting like High School children. Honestly, I am talking about one individual in particular but if you look around you can see it happening all the time. Age doesn’t always make a difference. I have had the pleasure of knowing people from all walks of life and all ages that have revealed their true essence of maturity, and some who have not!

Today I am writing about my anger; it angers me to see adults use their children as a vehicle to use in the attempt of hurting someone else. Selfish acts of anger in my opinion. I feel so sad for the children who are part of this vicious game. -This is something that speaks true to my core, as I am one of those children that was used when I was younger; a pawn per say in an effort to hurt the other parent.

I am not going to pretend to try to understand why this behavior happens or even try to figure out why people do this. Bottom line is that it does NO good and it only hurts the child.

I WILL not keep this anger inside of me; I just felt compelled to voice my anger at this situation and hope that the child involved grows to see the truth behind ones actions and will see how this negative motivation is unhealthy.

Side note: I am so proud of Jason! -Kudos to you for shrugging this experience off and laughing at the actions of others. It took a lot of courage to make a go at this relationship with your daughter. I am so happy that you have a different perspective that allows you to see through the actions in order to see the true colors. I love you and it is a loss to those who don’t want to be around you. I love you for who you are and are SO excited at the path of self discovery that you’re on right now. All I can say is that you deserve happiness and I am glad that you are finally finding that in yourself and not on the outside influences!