Sharing my JOURNEY....

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Fight for wat you want

So many times I find myself fighting for others.

When I was younger... fight to make your parents happy.
When I had children... fight to do whatever it takes to make a "happy" life for your children.
Relationship... fight for each other. Do whatever it takes to make it work!

Now it's my turn!

For so long I've wanted to work on me, but the distractions of life and life with children sometimes made that a challenge. So I put myself on hold. Now that my children are no longer at home... it's time... I have made the conscience decision to fight for "me" -Time to love, cherish and encourage myself to be me. Whatever that is.

But in looking through the looking glass, I've just recently discovered that I can't split myself between a relationship and wholeheartedly work on myself. I feel that I am selfish, and ignoring those around me who love me. Bottom line... I can no longer divide myself into different parts. Trust me, I've tried! I just cannot go on like this anymore!!!!!

Today is the day I've finally decided to stop! It's time to stand up for me. Not my relationship, but for me. If that means that I'm alone, then so be it, but I cannot go on like this any longer.

I HAVE to stop splitting myself up between my relationship and myself. It's time to free myself from the straps of being able to live freely and love myself deeply and wholeheartedly.

This is painful, but I think it's best. The saying is... if you love someone so much, set them free.

Timing is everything, and even though I have spent many years in trying... I just can't do it any longer.

I'm done!

1 comment:

Kimberli Park said...

Why is it that I find myself here again? >>Is this the cycle we're on? No denying it. The answer is "yes"

As much as I want to quit... I can't find myself breaking away from you. I'm in LOVE with you!!! But on the other side of the coin... I feel as if we have drifted away from each other. It could be, most likely is... ME. I'm so super focused on my things, and me, that I've allowed myself to be distanced from you.

I'm not done. Not yet. BUT, I am creeping closer. This blog post was emotionally charged, and it's only a matter of time before the breaking point supersedes beyond any point we have already been. If things don't change soon, we will find ourselves so far apart, that there will be no turning back.