Sharing my JOURNEY....

Thursday, January 22, 2015

It was the principle…

I bought a “project house” in August 2014. I gutted it down to only a few original walls. I had a plan… the plan was to be in the house at the end of the term of my lease; January 31, 2015. After all it was the first of September (Actually 8/26) by the time I closed, and I was handed the keys. The mission to find impact windows doors…

I knew better when MadarisWindows & Doors missed the first appointment, and arrived late to the second appointment. I knew, but I really felt like the salesman “Chris” was being genuine with my concerns & clear about the answers he was providing. As a representative of the company, he talked a good game, and I felt that he knew the industry… I had been researching for a month. I hired MadarisWindows & Doors out of Del Ray Beach on 10/6. This was a big investment, & I wanted to make sure I was working with a company who was creditable, represented a quality product & had integrity and stood 100% behind their work. Sure I received low ball offers, and higher offers but whatever… I made my choice. --moving on. According to Chris, I had about 3 weeks to complete demolition before the windows and doors were going to be started, but things were delayed, not because I didn’t plan accordingly, not because things popped up. Oh, they did! --I had cushioned timing for those surprises. 2 extra weeks actually!

Madaris didn’t once try to contact me. Three weeks went by and I was already calling the office as my salesman had stopped responding to my emails. I still didn’t get answers. I got… Oh so and so didn’t call you. This went on for weeks. At some point, All Floridian (a sub-contracted company) came out on site and started our project. I think mid-November. The progress was super slow, my back doors had been removed at this point and slowly the blocking began and progressed… did I say? SLOWLY! My house was open and vulnerable as it was no longer secured and hadn’t been for 6 weeks. Without getting into the details, because Madaris claims that the manufacturer had delays… and because of delays…

I’m so pissed that I’m inconvenienced in renting my place for one more month. Ugh… I REALLY wanted out. So, now I have to spend another $2150 + make a house payment in the month of February because of the manufacturers delays. Grrrrr I am not happy about how I’m being treated AND how my windows & doors are still not finished.
Of course the timing situation didn’t work out as I planned… but part of me wonders if Madaris and their staff are being honest. 

Did the manufacturer truly have delays?  
When did the doors actually get ordered from Madaris?
Were they ordered with another order?

The real question for me is… did they get ordered when they received the 2nd of my 3 installment in the 2nd week of October? My doors arrived last week? So the manufacturer took 2 months? My salesman said 6-8 weeks for the start to finish of this project. I hear the company sold to someone else in October 2015, and I call bull shit and can’t believe anything that Madaris is telling me until they ACTUALLY follow through and… get the permit that is specified in my contract, finish the job, fix and complete my warranty work.

Not my finest moment…

Eating my feelings. Perhaps it may be the stress due to the house project? Either way… tonight I bought Doritos and white cake with super yummy butter cream frosting. -Only those items and nothing else! -I will eat cake for breakfast, lunch, dinner and maybe late night snack. The Doritos are so I can eat PB&J sandwiches. I’m not a big fan of those… but with Nacho Cheese Doritos, I will tolerate it. 

The thought that made me document this is… I’m leaving the grocery store thinking oh what a quick trip for groceries. BUT then, I thought really? These are not considered groceries. Therefore, I’m enjoying the moment when I became aware that eating my feelings are not a healthy way to process whatever it is that is going on.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015


I have been short tempered lately and quite honestly it’s not fair to the people and loved ones around me. At times it takes me a bit, to become aware of the situation until its right here smacking me in the face. Oh, and yesterday… it did just that!

I so desperately want calm, quiet, peace and structure! But I’ve realized that in every aspect of my life, I have chaos right now.

Home; trying so desperately to finish the remodeling project that is going to be “NOW” 1 month overdue AND… I do truly hope for no more surprises. I really want out of my rental… wasted money; I hate wasting my hard earned $$$

Relationship; I can say that it is not on my side of the relationship, its unfinished business on his. I also truly hope that a resolution comes soon. On a scale from 1- 10, I would say it’s a 3. Only because... I no longer am dealing with his “stuff” --A boundary I made to save the relationship from escalating to becoming another past relationship. 

Work; Oh that is an entire situation of its own. So hard to come to work not knowing what is going to spring up next. Are the processes going to change again? Is the President/Owner going to make more rules and set more roadblocks up that prevent me from doing my job with integrity and in an efficient way? Is he going to go off on me because of something I did that was requested from me but didn’t come directly from him? AND I wasted “my” time doing something that wasn’t very important (In his opinion) this entire situation has become very apparently clear to me. I have to get out!
I love what I do, but at this point… I am second guessing everything I do. AND why have I allowed him to take my power?  This company didn’t know financially what was up or down, let alone accounts hadn’t been reconciled when I arrived, and now things are accurate according to the GAAP. In all my years as a Financial Controller, I have never been treated as if I’m just a ragdoll that you can push around. I demand and have certainly earned the respect. I have my MBA and 19 years of experience to back up the knowledge I claim to have. So the hard choice for me, was that I am now looking for another job. 

I really don’t want to but honestly, I made the decision in 2013 to work and retire with one company, but in this case due to ethical GAAP principles and the permissions I “have” to get to just follow the GAAP and the laws surrounding HR –TO JUST DO MY JOB-- I can no longer keep myself in this painful situation. I’m out! I truly strive in situations where you make me in charge of “my department” That way the credit or the accountability of not doing something is 100% owned by me.

In short, I really needed to get some of these thoughts OUT of my head. They bother me. B-A-D! 

I cannot wait to look back 6 months from now and see where I may land in my future and what changes have happened because of those conscience decisions.

Live and Love Life –ALWAYS… no matter where you are, it’s where you are supposed to be.