Sharing my JOURNEY....

Friday, December 7, 2012

To see the beauty in all that is.

Sometimes in life I feel like crap, and when I get in that particular frame of mind, my perspective of all that is, is just that “crap” I dislike this, I don’t like that, I don’t want to do this or that, and it seems like things just fester and fester. No matter how hard anyone tries, I simply cannot be happy. In those moments, I forget that you get what you give and that is why those incidents and situations keep building and building; as if the world is against me. Then…

At some point when I’ve had enough of myself wallowing in my own crap, I realize where I am, and I hit the reset button to flip the switch! Some days are more of a challenge for that to happen but for the most part, I remember what I’ve learned about Law of Attraction and make that conscience shift.

I do love it when that happens, because, only then can I have that renewed sense of reality and perception to see things for what they are. –Exactly in that moment; every moment really!

Living here in Washington State is beautiful! The seasons are beautiful! The colors of nature are simply amazing! How life can just move so effortlessly and how if you change your perception consciously the paradigm shift in life shifts with you.

Just a short note to share that paradigm shift, it can happen. You must make the choice to change and just do it. If it seems to be a challenge for you, just fake it until you make it! Eventually you will change those firing patterns in your brain and it will just become effortless! Change is not easy, trust me! But it is worth every ounce of effort you put into it.

Love and Light!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

What level of it do you have???

I can remember a time when I was being swallowed whole by the drama in my life. It felt like I was drowning. Boy, am I ever so grateful to have moved beyond that and be able to look back and see that experience for what it gave me. The gifts you are given during the times in which you least expect… are the greatest gifts for growing. It may have been growing pains, but I’d rather be growing any way than staying stationary and stagnant.

Honestly, if I was to take inventory of where I am right now, I would say that I am at peace with myself. Letting go has been a wonderful gift. Awareness of new boundaries has also been an incredible gift. In all the times that I have been hurt, each and every one has given me a lesson to learn about myself and another experience to share with others.

I love my partner, but the drama gets old. The level of drama that is in my life because of my partner is unbelievable. Sometimes I can’t believe the lengths that some people will go to take vengeance out on another. I chalk it up to their perception and how they view things from their perspective. I just wish that everyone could just get along. Circumstances change and so do people.

This paradigm shift of life has given me something to think about. I live a frugal life; thankful from the roots of how I was raised. No but really thankful that I am no longer in that rut and materialistic living that kept me not satisfied with where I was and what was. Being in the moment and enjoy all of life’s precious gifts are more satisfying to me that driving a new car or having the latest and greatest. Although I deserve to have everything in my life that my heart desires, the gift of being content and satisfied is ever so relieving.

Thank you for life’s little moments and thank you for the chaos that sometimes comes before the storm. I am ever so grateful for the preciousness of the evolved universe in showing me my path.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Letting go and loving you! Are you doing that?

There is such a fine line and a strong distinction between learning to set “you” free by letting go and loving yourself. Loving “you” what does that mean?

For me… it means so many different things on so many different levels. On the surface it’s the easy stuff; good hygiene, healthy diet, exercise, and being presentable…etc. But let’s go a bit deeper shall we? What about setting healthy boundaries for you and others, maybe taking time out to get a massage or a pedicure, what about doing the things that bring a SMILE to your face or something you love!

On another level those things are good but I am talking about even deeper than that; on the inside. Breathe work and quieting down that “monkey mind” That’s what I call it anyways. It could be different for others but either way it’s the internal conversations that we have with ourselves on a conscience level. Should we, shouldn’t we… you know what I’m talking about right? Either way that internal dialogue we have can sometimes keep us in that comfort zone… that circle that we can draw about 2 feet around us. It’s what’s on the outside of that circle that allows us to grow and experience new things. (Some good and some not so good) but that’s a whole different topic.

I can remember a time that my mind would go and go and go and go and I swear no matter what I did, my mind wouldn’t ever just shut OFF! Our minds are amazing! How the internal filters work unconsciously and the ideas and creativity that evolve from our inner most thoughts or behaviors. With some conscience effort, just as I did, you can calm that monkey mind down so it’s more peaceful. But let’s really get down deep with our inner most habits that stop us from truly loving you for you.

In life some of us are taught things through the way our parents/peers live and do things, some of us are out of control and are at the mercy of the people in our lives or maybe not in our lives, maybe there are those of us who had to grow up and take on adult responsibility as a child, whatever the experience may be, it seems to me that we lose a bit of ourselves along the way and our sense of our importance falls by the wayside; sometimes taking care of others becomes first and foremost and we forget about ourselves.

Loving on all levels is very important to one’s health and well being. I would encourage you to turn off that TV, video game, ipad, or whatever it may be that is distracting you from listening to the core of our own spirit. If your quiet and give yourself some attention, the voice gets louder. Our deeper most inner self wants to be loved and nourished. I say take the time for you, even if it’s only 15 minutes. You deserve to be happy and isn’t that priceless? I think so and that’s why I am truly blessed and so grateful that the level of intelligence within me has grown beyond anything I would’ve ever imagined. To know that loving thy self is not only on the outside but also on the inside, and that I am doing what I need for ME!

I encourage you to take some time for “YOU”

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Some people just never let go!

I understand that Anger goes deep; real deep! I also understand that no matter how much we love and forgive, anger will still exist. I know…I am speaking from my own personal experiences. I was angry for so long and at so many people. I am so happy that my renewed sense of energy has brought me to a higher level of spiritual understanding. Not godly… spiritual! There is a difference.

I am grateful that I am aware that I am past the High School attitude (most of the time… sometimes I have my moments of temporary brain lapse or just plain stupid-ness) but it absolutely amazes me to see adults acting like High School children. Honestly, I am talking about one individual in particular but if you look around you can see it happening all the time. Age doesn’t always make a difference. I have had the pleasure of knowing people from all walks of life and all ages that have revealed their true essence of maturity, and some who have not!

Today I am writing about my anger; it angers me to see adults use their children as a vehicle to use in the attempt of hurting someone else. Selfish acts of anger in my opinion. I feel so sad for the children who are part of this vicious game. -This is something that speaks true to my core, as I am one of those children that was used when I was younger; a pawn per say in an effort to hurt the other parent.

I am not going to pretend to try to understand why this behavior happens or even try to figure out why people do this. Bottom line is that it does NO good and it only hurts the child.

I WILL not keep this anger inside of me; I just felt compelled to voice my anger at this situation and hope that the child involved grows to see the truth behind ones actions and will see how this negative motivation is unhealthy.

Side note: I am so proud of Jason! -Kudos to you for shrugging this experience off and laughing at the actions of others. It took a lot of courage to make a go at this relationship with your daughter. I am so happy that you have a different perspective that allows you to see through the actions in order to see the true colors. I love you and it is a loss to those who don’t want to be around you. I love you for who you are and are SO excited at the path of self discovery that you’re on right now. All I can say is that you deserve happiness and I am glad that you are finally finding that in yourself and not on the outside influences!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Internal? or External?

How often do you listen to yourself? I don’t mean hear you actually verbalizing something out loud. I mean that “gut” feeling or internal intuition that you feel.

For me it has been so many times that I can’t even count them on my hands or my toes.

Who knew what that feeling was? Did someone teach you about that? Traditionally that is not something we learn in school, or even from our parents. Some families are evolved to understand what that internal voice is and have passed it onto their children. Some have NO idea! Well, that would be mine!

So many times in life I have just strolled along without really listening. Disconnected from my true core and just living on the surface of whatever my mind thought was important.

In living and experiencing the true desires of my core, I have discovered that there is more to life than just what I could think up in my mind. In all actuality my mind could be a very dangerous place; realistically creating road blocks and barriers of excuses of why this or that is NOT a good idea.

I am writing today to just acknowledge the gratefulness I have in understanding the internal language, to have the keen sense of hearing and the understanding to have the voice be so strong that I truly must listen. More lessons on how life has shown me that each and every experience has taught and brought me to a higher level and a deeper sense of connection.

Thaaaaaaaank You!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Boomerang it back and give me the strength to keep going!

Some days the challenges of the battle just fuel me, some days those very same challenges just drains me and I get so exhausted!

Time for this or that; no! -I don’t really have time for much and when I do have the time, I just want to veg out sometimes. I know that I need rest and rejuvenation to be re-fueled. Reset! Entrainments definitely help with the grounding and solidifying the core. Thank you for the tools that I have been shown; use the tools!

Boy, I cannot wait until the stuff that is heaped on my plate is completed and cleared off!

This morning, when I was driving into town, I found myself asking the almighty universe for the energy to continue on with this research project and preparation of the things that need to be done.

So this is me expanding my energy out to the universe… Allow it to unfold and boomerang back to me 10 fold with the answers and outcome in which I desire and deserve. I ask the almighty universe to assist me in finding the strength to pursue and purge forward. Please bring forth the courageousness that is needed to continue on this path and the courage to have the wisdom to let go when the timing is right.

Always smiling no matter what, but some days that smile is harder to allow to genuinely happen so freely, please show me the path and direction in which I am to be walking.

Monday, September 17, 2012

At what point do you just decide to give “it” up?

Sometimes in life I go with the flow and sometimes when the principle is just too much for me to let go, I push, push, and push. I am stubborn and I fight tooth and nail for what I believe in.

The universe has plans for everything but when is the point where you draw a line? At what point do you decide to give it up and let go? Fights are not easy. The challenges are the things that teach us something but sometimes for me it’s hard to know when enough is enough.

I think that there are tall tell signs but my eyes are so fixated on the goal and what I am trying to achieve that I just don’t see or have room to fluctuate away from my path.

Bad or Good?

Can be good, can be bad… sometimes very bad!

No answers for that, just a question today.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

In remembrance

To remember the one man; in my youth, showed me compassion and that love was possible. Today would’ve been our 16 year anniversary, and I just want to take a moment to say thank you! Thank you for showing me that love was unconditional, caring and compassion is important and that life is full of surprises.

Our plans were that we would’ve grown old together and travel the world, but the almighty powers at hand had a different plan for us. A plan that I could’ve never imagined! I love you and miss you so much. At times I was angry for you leaving, but now I understand that it was not something I could control. I wish you were here to see your son; how he is the spitting image of you and how he has so many traits that amazingly have been passed on by sheer genes! Chase there will always be a place in my heart for you! –Always!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Oh what to do now???

For months now, I have been running at warp speed with this to do and that to do. Finally --I’m done!

It has been nice; I’ve been able to sloooow things down and get a bit more focused. Things I want to do vs. the thing I have to do. Live life and enjoy all the hard work that has been done.

After we finished up with the move and became more settled, I wanted to go play! So we have been; kayaking, horseback riding, festivals, put-zing around town and still dabbling a little with the things that need to be done around the house.

It is so important to have the balance, and I am so grateful that I have a renewed sense of life that I understand the importance of what has to be done and what can wait.

There is no race to the finish line and I can remember the times in my life when all I could do is; do, do, do, do, do and do! Boy, I am no Spring chicken anymore and I definitely understand the need for balance!

Thank you for everything that is in my life. Thank you for love, Thank you for the light in my life, Thank you for sun as the summer has been wonderful, Thank you for the lessons that have brought me to this new sense of reality, and thank you for the challenges that have made me grow as a person! Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you!!!!!

Friday, August 10, 2012

A gift for you too :-)

Oh thank you mother earth for the glorious SUN; the nutrients that you provide for all living things is abundantly given without any attachments. I am so thankful for you today. –everyday! The heat and the light that is given to all of us here on earth are such gifts and a selfless act of love.

Growing up on an island where the sun shine’s all the time was such a blessing. It's the best of both worlds... I live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, and I have fallen in love with all of the seasons; seasons of growth and change. Honestly... boy oh boy do I miss the blessing of the sun being so warm all year long.

Thank you mother earth for all that you provide. Thank you for your selfless acts of generosity!

Love and Light

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Thank you to Sarah Forbes for creating the perfect pictures!

Last year when we attended the Anacortes Arts Festival we noticed your artwork and how beautiful and how the elements of the paintings really resonated with us. This year we set out a goal to find art pieces to add to our collection, and to our surprise, some of the pieces that you had displayed were the ones that resonated with us the most.

The room where we had pictured those to go, fit perfect; it was like it was meant to be!

Truly gifted -Thank you!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Count your blessings!

Every day I wake up, honestly I cannot say that I count my blessings. I don’t feel that I am ungrateful but I feel that my focus has shifted. It’s only when I have a moment to myself where there is nothing demanding my time when I take a moment to count my blessings.

Now That things have settled down, I must make a conscience shift to focus inwards again!

I feel that things have shifted so far out of whack that getting grounded again is going to take some very challenging work. I definitely have my work cut out for me. I do know that when I get back into routine again… it will all be worth the hard work it took to get there again.

Just want to say thank you for awareness and everything it brings into the “BIG” picture.

Thank you!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Oh boy here we go again!

One can only wish that the past would stay there.

Someday, I hope that a person of Jason’s past will realize that she needs to leave Jason alone!

Yes, they have children together, but his children want nothing to do with him “their own father” That’s sad to me and it pains me to see you hurting because of another person’s actions. Oh but one can only imagine the lies; who knows what she has told those children to encourage them to feel this way. -That hurts! It hurts everyone around, but especially those children who are too young to see the truth. The silver lining is.. that one day they will!

I am so sorry that she feels "entitled" and cannot seem to understand that she needs to move on and figure stuff out for herself. She's married again, obviously she is a big girl! Act like one!

The only thing that I can say is the saving grace in all this is that… Jason is a stronger person now, and has finally realized that she is super toxic and is self serving. Her lies and her deceitful and mindless attempts to keep herself plugged in to his life. -Ignorance really

I love you Jason, and I am so happy that you can see things in a different perspective. Opening your mind and your heart has allowed you to see with different eyes! I love it!!!!! Almost as much as I love you!

I know that you love your children and it is hard to keep yourself in the loop with such a toxic individual who drains your joy. I always say it’s easier to blame others than it is to take a look in the mirror. Some people are survivors and others are victims, and I know that you have found a place of peace about this situation and that one day, maybe your children will seek the truth and find themselves back in your life.

I say this with confidence because I was in a similar position with my parents when I was too young to “see” or “know” the difference. -As children, we believe our parents. Then you grow up; and at some point, one starts to seek the truth about the past. It’s a natural process of who we are as humans. It just takes time. The bottom line is that in time things will unravel and the “truth” or shall I say “lies” will reveal themselves.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Living life through your heart not your mind

I am so grateful for the experiences in my life so far to date. Yes, really, all of them!

In my youth I was a victim; a great big giant one! I focused on the negative times whining and complaining, I am not sure if I was ever truly happy with anything back then. Never really was grateful for the good times even when in the moment. Honestly, I have had many lessons come and go and I never realized what it was I was supposed to learn, until after the fact when I would go back and reflect on the past or what I had written in my journal. Yep, I used to journal; it was something I needed to do to get those thoughts out of my mind. -At some point in my life I learned that stuffing those feelings and thoughts were super unhealthy! Thankful for that lesson!!!!!!

My journal was super private and it wasn’t something I wanted anybody to ever read; terrified if anyone ever read my most private thoughts! I guess I felt like someone would judge me for what was written. I used to be so afraid of other people’s thoughts of me… Thankful for the lesson to know that “I just don’t care anymore” I know now, that things just needed to evolve to a point where I could feel comfortable in sharing… which I did. I am so thankful for my mentors who taught me all about becoming a personal development coach. Thank you for giving me the opportunities in assisting others using the tools you have given me and the knowledge to help guide others through whatever they needed.

Now, I feel strongly and compelled to share how I am feeling about who I have grown and become because of those experiences as well as the clients and friends I have helped along the way. Truly those experiences have been a gift; to have crossed paths with such wonderful people, and you know who you are… but really, the courage it took to share your feelings and your most intimate circumstances with me. Kudos to you for having the strength and thank you! Not only did the situation get better for “you”, it taught me a ton about myself.

I feel that as I have grown, and learned to see with new eyes; giving me a different perspective was an outcome I could have never predicted! Once again, I have noticed that I have once again started to see things in an even broader perspective. Living life with love, love, love has enabled me to grow and see even more in life. Not only just “see” but to feel that deeper connection.

On one level or another all living things are connected and I am so grateful for the knowledge I have gained through everything and everyone. Thank you to knowing that I am loving every minute of life, every day!

Love and Light

Friday, July 6, 2012

How far is too far?

In these days, the support that is needed from others to assist your childs(rens) success is predominately needed, but how far is too far?

Do we support or enable?

I say support, but sometimes I see that it can be mistaken for enabling. The difference to me is…

Support: Assisting in the dreams and allowing the individual to make their own decisions. Also on that note, someone who is working with a “can do” attitude and is doing whatever needs to be done to make things happen for their own futures. Taking accountability! -Sometimes this is a challenge. In certain times in our lives, we must make a “tough” call and not allow the person to dictate what you should or shouldn’t do. Bottom line the best road isn’t always the easiest road. However in the long run, it will serve you better. –I promise! (Been there done that)

Enabling: To me enabling is doing something for someone over and over again. This person may not be doing very much or anything at all for themselves; they may continue on with their behavior, as if they just knew that someone was going to step in and pick up the pieces time and time again. In my experience in watching someone enable another, I see the lesson in which is given. That is NO lesson is being learned! -This subject is a touchy subject for me as I just get irritated about how others enable people to keep doing what they are doing with no consequences in their actions or behaviors! Bottom line: All it does is hurt the person even more by not allowing them to see the lesson that is put there for a purpose, ergo prolonging the ultimate reason why things are happening for a reason!

So how do you know if you are being supportive or enabling?

This to me has an easy answer, and I feel that I outlined it pretty clearly in my “own personal definitions”

But, just in case you need more clues... ask yourself this… Is my help really helping? What is it I’m really trying to help with? Is it just putting the floor back underneath where it was crumbling out? How many times have I had to do this?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Keep going…

I woke up this morning exhausted!

Can’t say that in all my years, I have ever experienced seven hours of sleep and woke up feeling like I just worked a super long day. -I am definitely starting to feel the affects of age. To those who are older than I am, I know I am considered young; and, I feel young! BUT OMG!!! Two weeks straight of just hard long days are helping me to feel like I am not. The challenging thing about this is that I still have a few more weeks of this. I tell myself that I have to keep going, but if I continue to feel like this in the morning… I will be so burnt out! Will I recover? I know our bodies are amazing and I know that I will, but I feel like I am running out of steam and running out fast!

Thank you to the help we had this weekend in getting us through this transition. Thank you for the experience in understanding that this is going to be the last for the time being and for that matter… the next 4-5 years!

I am excited about this new chapter and I know that I have definitely earned some time off to reap the rewards of all this hard work. –Just wish it could be here sooner.

Just a quick note to show my gratitude and to voice my exhaustion; I know that I will look back on this at some point and say “Boy am I glad that is over and YES, we made it!”

Thank you!

Friday, June 15, 2012

So proud!

To all the hard work and long days... Not to mention all the pulling out of my hair to keep him on task...

The day has finally come where CJ has graduated!

I ams of proud of his hard work and proud to see that he has risen to the occaision to go out of his comfort zone to make this possible for himself.

Congradulations CJ, You did it!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


Some days I feel like the old “TOXIC” patterns just jump back into motion before I realize they are even there.

Awareness is a marvelous thing but I get tired of the circular motion of repetitiveness. I know that we as human species are creatures of habit, but REALLY? Why is it that we can establish a new pattern, and out of the blue, the old ones keep showing up? -Again and again, and again.

I used to be so self destructive and hurtful to myself, I allowed the judgmental and emotional side of my feelings to feel unconfident about my life or secure about which direction I am headed in; some days it just wants to just take over and I have to play tug of war. I know otherwise that the sure tail signs are showing me that my heart is winning over the mind battle. And that the things I’m doing are just falling into place. Are they? Or are they being forged into motion and then they just fall where I point them to? Either way the saying is “Go all in or go home” I am definitely a fighter! Some say stubborn and in many ways that has been true, but now that I am old enough to see the difference “I think” to make wiser decisions about what I do or where I go. Don’t get me wrong the mistakes are still there. –They always will be!

I know in my experience with life coaching, that the law of attraction is super powerful! It can be utilized in a healthy manor, or it can also be used in an unhealthy manor.

 It’s challenging for me to remember that thoughts carry vibrations of energy. With those old patterns that weave in and out, I have a challenging time with harnessing those negative judgmental thoughts that create the vibrations of negative energy. Boy, and when I finally realize that I am in that state of mind, the shift that needs to happen can make all the difference.

 For me to live with my heart and not my mind makes the battle so much easier to fight.

 Some days I feel like I have a grip on them. Some days my minds monkey chatter gets the best of me and I just spiral down into the abyss until I have the ability to say “ENOUGH”

 I just wanted to share that we are all human and no matter how hard we strive to be better, the old toxic patterns WILL weave in and out trying to get you to cave in. Live with your heart and no matter what life will meet you where you stand! Just remember to keep getting up and keep having faith in yourself!

Love and Light!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Grrrrrrrr sometimes I MUST remember to breathe!

I was misled by someone in an area of expertise that I really was counting on, and this situation has had me using lots of energy and time to research and explore. I was so upset to find out that he gave me wrong information! It frustrates me and makes me very upset. 

OK… Just me venting but remembering to breathe; boy oh boy do I feel like I have been used.

Thank you for the love I have and the patience I carry to be understanding. I am crossing my fingers that I found a new individual who will take the time to research and explore my options to make this happen for me.

Love and Light!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Please say this is the final time!

Sometimes I can't help myself... I wonder what makes people do the things they do.  I know that I’m wasting my precious time on others… but it just baffles me on what the reasoning is behind this.

If you lie about something long enough, eventually one starts to believe that it’s the truth. - Scary!

I am so thankful that when a person finally decides to let go, they do so.

Now the question is... Does it really happen for good? In the past the words come out saying that this is going to take place but the actions seems to be just the opposite. Whatever happen to integrity and congruency? Boy am I thankful I live by my set of principles and clear boundaries for myself!

I hope that this is a permanent situation this time.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Finally Re-building!

So excited that after many experiences, trials and challenges... I finally have the opportunity to buy another home. Hooray for determination and perseverance! OOOOOh and I cannot forget "Hard Work"

Thank you for the experiences that have carried me to where I am today, I am truly grateful for all that is in my life.

Yes to the challenges that are here to teach me something and for all the easeness that is here as well to show me that a content and peaceful life is truly deserved!

Love and Light!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Life is so up and down!

I can remember the time when I was just separated and life was such a state of chaos. I was desperately trying so hard to save my credit and keep us in our current state; for the sake of myself and my children. -But at what expense? I lost myself mentally and emotionally so that I could afford 2 mortgages and make all the payments to the marital debt that was an accumulation of… well more than just my choices. 

Then finally one day I woke up and saw the reality of where this was going. -This as in me. I was headed for a disaster. In actuality, I was already in it; I was just choosing to hang on to something that was slowly killing me. So much time had drifted and I found myself falling into some pretty bad situations that I had allowed myself to fall into so mindlessly. It was time to clean house; so I did!

I made some very big financial decisions that would affect me incredibly and it was time to move back to Burlington and find a mindless job… who really cares who I worked for as long as I could afford to make my house payment and take care of things in a responsible way without killing myself. The job I found was so easy, that I could do it in my sleep and no cares about it when I walked out the front door to go home. It was the perfect balance to the chaos that was happening in my life.

It has been so peaceful for so long that for some reason lately it seems that chaos has found its way back in. Not because of me but because of the man who is in my life. 

Is my mother right? My life is never complete unless there is chaos in it, or did I ask for this? The answer seems so painful to think about. Stop thinking about it right? No! I say process it and feel it and make informed decision about it.

What is the right decision, I guess if I knew that, then I wouldn’t be battling this thought and feeling the tears that arise when I can set my mind still and just feel it.

I feel chaos, I feel pain, and I feel so lost in my direction at this point, that sometimes I feel as if I am working backwards. Feel with my heart not my mind. God how I hate the monkey mind chatter that keeps going on back and forth; self doubt. 

Is this where I am the happiest? Is this where I want to be? I am doing what I want? Is this the right decision? Should I be doing this right now? Should I be the back bone for someone else? Shouldn’t I be looking out for me 1st? –Yes! I am number one, first and foremost! How have I allowed myself to slip back into putting myself on the back burner? Make the change and be in control of myself. 

It’s funny how we change the course and sometimes we allow those old patterns to rise to the surface and take the reins. Recognition! Thank you for opening my eyes through my emotions.