Sharing my JOURNEY....

Friday, October 7, 2011

In order to get up, we must fall down.

Remember to have faith in ourselves and glance back and see how much you have grown. Reflection is essential in growing and becoming stronger within in your own power.

Understanding that victimization is not the answer; everything that is happening, is all part of the path that we must be on in order to grow. 

After having a deep conversation with a friend, I am so thankful that he has gratefully succumbed to this path of understanding. 

There is a fundamental human need for companionship, for a sympathetic ear, for reassurance, for hearing our feelings and sentiments echoed back, for touching and being touched.

Being alone is sensory deprivation, slow torture, and our souls cry out for a kindred spirit, for the comfort that only a friend can give, for someone who can fill the emptiness, who can share the isolated moments of our existence.

Loneliness weakens the spirit. It consumes our strength and dims our inner flame and power. It tempts us to wallow in self pity, to descend into a kind of gloomy rapture, depressed and paralyzed, yet at the same time glorifying in our misery, suffering proudly in our own private hell. 

For all that, loneliness is a state of mind, a sickness of the soul rather than an external condition, and it is entirely within our power to fight it, and perhaps work towards healing it.

Resisting loneliness is more than a matter of “keeping busy” -immersing yourself in so many activities that you have no time to reflect on your sad state. It involves following your interests, improving your skills, developing yourself as a multifaceted individual. It means going out and meeting people, making contacts, learning to survive in a social context; get out of your comfort zone! It means living your dream. Not at some future time when you might be finally in a relationship, but here and now!

Aloneness is a riddle we must solve in order to be worthy of the compassion of others, and therein lies the central paradox of being alone. –That it can either ennoble, or degrade. 

The essential difference between aloneness and loneliness is the anguish, the acute hunger for the contact that the lonely suffer. 

Could we but consider solitude a necessary journey of discovery, a crisis that may ultimately purify and strengthen us, and then we would emerge from this dark night of soul uplifted and exalted, more fully realized and engaged as a person. Once comfortable in our own company, reconciled to the austere beauty of silence, or privacy of total self-sufficiency, only then can we travel onward and explore the horizons of interaction, of exchange, or binding with our fellow humans.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Why we do the things we do…

Sometimes… ok most of the time I sit back and wonder why we do the things we do. Actually; I wonder why other people do the things that they do. -I know that I will never find the answer to that but people never cease to AMAZE me!

What is it that drives us to take the actions and the course we decide on?

Is it emotions?
Is it our hearts desires?
Is it other people?
Is it love?
Is it sacrifice?
Is it passion?
Is it greed?

I remember a long time ago, I once was a people pleaser. -Yep hard to believe for those of you who know me now; I used to do what was cool to fit in. As a child I lived a very sheltered life. Strict! OMG strict Korean catholic household and it was never easy to bend the rules or get away with much.

As a teenager trying to fit in, I did what others wanted me to do; I was an easy target to manipulate. But somewhere along the course of time and my experiences I have developed a sense of direction, a sense of boundaries and rock solid love for myself. I am so grateful to know the difference of people pleasing and doing what is right in my heart of hearts.

This was not an easy journey for me. Like any journey is ever easy right? -Anyways… I’m 35 and I have come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t matter. People are people and they are going do what they feel is the best decision. I laugh a lot at what people do, I get frustrated at times, but most of all I take everything with a grain of salt.

When I find myself giving my power and energy away to someone else’s actions, I just stop and take a deep long cleansing breath (maybe 2 or 3, however many it takes) and remember that this is my life and I’m in control of me and my actions. Other people are in charge of theirs and in the end everything will always work out. -Everything will work out. You’ll see!

Love yourself first; then reach out and love others! You will get what you give so reap what you sow and remember to love every moment of everything in your life as it IS part of the process.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Grateful for today!

Not so long ago I can remember being so far in the future and sometimes so stuck in the past.

It’s sometimes hard to believe that I now live in the moment. I drift into the future and sometimes reminisce about the past but I never stay in either of those moments for too long; as the present moment is very important to me.

There is now a clear understanding of the “present moment” and what it truly means to be in it.

So many times in the past I have been given the education and the opportunity, yet I still missed the boat. Missing that great moment of seeing something so beautiful; because my mind wandered into areas that can be self destructive and disheartening

I see so many people who are stuck in one world or the other but cannot seem to grasp on the being here and now. That saddens me; I want to just show them a glimpse of what I know so that they would see for themselves.

Thank you for all the experiences and for all the times I’ve missed the boat! Because of those moments; I am where I am today! Every experience has been a very valuable lesson that I can only get if I go through those crossroads and make a decision for the greater person in me.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Triad of Change and Re-organizational Healing

Yes another gate has passed and the thoughts are just rolling. So here it goes.

Have you ever been at a place in life where you feel “stuck?” Stuck in the day to day rituals of allowing time to pass but you feel as if you’re not going anywhere but around and around. Funny thing really… I know that I’ve been here before, but here I am again.

I accepted a job some time ago and about a year or so, I started struggling with that job. It was no longer congruent to my energy and I knew that I needed to quit; I wasn’t sure when but I knew what I needed to do. -The question was when? 

In September 2010 after a healing vortex journey, energetic healing massage in Sedona and some time to heal, when I arrived back in Washington and went to work the next day, I knew that I could no longer be in that environment; I was compelled with sadness; a sadness that brought tears to my eyes the entire time that I was there in the office. So I felt drawn to take a visit to my boss’s office and express my feelings of discontent with the position and that it was time to leave this job. It was so liberating to know what I was supposed to do, and just do it.

So here I am 4 months later and have had a lot of time to gather myself and get clearer of what I am to do here on this path. That was what I intended but I actually found myself at a place where I felt lost. Lost in my thoughts, lost in time and space of what I “SHOULD” be doing with my time. Some of that were old conditioned patterns trying to emerge again… “The conditioned patterns of you need to work hard to get anywhere” My only thought was to not think about it. Just let the energy flow as it may and in time, the path will reveal itself. Not sure how but it would happen when the timing is right.

My questions were… What is it that I should be doing? What do I love? Where should I focus my energy on? But no matter how many questions I asked I still felt discontent for myself and the path. I felt as if I put the intention out to the universe but I wasn’t receiving the answers or the signs. 

I went to the gate with those same questions and the intentions of the laser beam focus on what I wanted out of this gate. Not attached to the results but strong intentions.

This gate was a wonderful experience but most of all the Triad of change and re-organizational healing was very informative on my how my biological make up corresponds with the way I focus and utilize my energy.
To understand that my Behavior is my prime, structure is my keystone and my drain is perception is such a concept to understand of how to put things in motion and to understand why I have been in such a rut for so long. The bottom line is that I have been in my mind and “thinking” about those questions when my modus operandi is of action. I knew that I say in my mind but to have the realization of understanding that is a different story.

Thank you for the path and the wisdom to see the doors open and not only that to say thank you for being an open receptor to allowing this change to take place. – I can’t wait to get home and do, do, do!

Thanks Wise World for this wonderful experience and thank you to the universe for unfolding these events. I’m also not going forget to say thank you to myself for “Showing up”