It’s been a bit since I’ve blogged. Sometimes in life, I bounce back and forth between my personal journal with my thoughts and what I choose to share with all of you.
Anyways~ I find myself drawn to going again, but since we moved an hour away, where would I go? Found a place right here in Snohomish. We like it. So every time I have gone to church I always get tears. Why? Hmmm I wish I knew but for the first few weeks I was this tough emotional stuffer and I could stop myself from crying. Last Sunday, I went to church and the tears were flowing right when we got to church, parts of church and in the end too. Crazy!
I know now that I deserve the things I have in my life. I never used to feel that way.
Right now actually I am still amazed at where I am in life and how the heck I got here. It was very bumpy ride and I now believe that anything is possible. I just have to be in the right state of mind. Allowing the emotional roller coaster out has been a challenge for me to stay in the right mind. I know that I cannot tackle this myself so I’m turning it over to the pro. -GOD
Well I know that if I truly want it then I will do it. Taking care of my body has been on the top of my thoughts for about 5 months. I’ve started walking 3 miles with Tom in the morning. It’s so nice now that we both can be at home and work our own schedule. BONUS: To have Spring rolling around with sunny and earlier mornings is a good thing right now. I cannot stand the winters here in dark ass
I know that there is more there that I have to let go…. But for now I am knocking out the most important ones to me.
In my experience…. I’ve walked on 50 feet of burning hot 1500 degree coals, broke an arrow on my throat, and bent rebar with the softer part of my throat. See pics at www.getmeoutofmyjob.com I truly understand the power of the mind. I’m still learning how to harness that power!
I’ve used the power to do many great things in my past, and I’m excited for the life that is in the future. Thank you as myself and my family are very blessed.
Sharing my JOURNEY....
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- ► 2009 (28)
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
All my life, well as far back as I can remember, I have always had to be in charge.
When I was younger while my mother was at school or work, I had to help out with my brother. My mother used to have seizures and I'd have to take care of that too. Taking care of things has been the core of who I am.
So here I am again as things are brought to my attention... Taking care of it!
I realize that in order for me to truly live life, I must slow down in life. I'm a busy body, like my mother and my grandmother. (It must be a Korean thing?) This I decided is no way to live my life. BUSY! What? No I am in the process of slowing down. What does this mean…? Well I will admit that I knew this was a deeply strong desire of mine, BUT I've allowed myself to entertain the distractions that I make for myself.
Here's the question…. Why do I entertain these distractions?
I truly want this for myself but I put it off. So today was my groundbreaking start.
I get to dive straight into this question. I'm sure there is some kind of deeply hurtful thing associated with this. When I talk about the desire to slow down in life, I get tearful. I have a feeling of hopelessness. Hmmm my question is why?
What does this mean to slow down? Breathe slower, one task at a time, read more, take the time in for me. I already day dream and take time in, but to truly take time in means to calm the inner self and throw out the garbage.
For once in this journey of understanding, I understand what truly quieting the mind means… NOW the trick is to take action.
I am my worst critic. I beat myself for the mistakes I make in life and I hang onto those for forever…
Here's the bottom line… IMPERFECT ACTION is better than NO ACTION. I'm realizing that this holds true in ANY situation.
Today I am grateful for the lessons that come up and the new vision of change.
This all started with wanting to clear the clutter and throw out the baggage, and it has evolved to a whole different level. I know this is right, even though it feels so shitty, but in the end I will feel free. That's my drive to get myself through this.