Deep seeded in my head? Where??

When someone touches me in a, oh so good spot things in my life start feeling uncomfortable. -Normal things between married couples. But for me, all I hear is my mother saying how I'm a dirty little girl. Wow, to come to understand why I feel uncomfortable about what your husband does is normal. I just have this belief that touching me sexually is a dirty thing. Really what that boils down to is that my mother taught me that. Tom to touch me and love me is ok because I like it. To shed the belief that I now understand, I must learn to love and allow. I like it when you rub my luscious lips. I love it when you are freshly shaven. I love that you can cook, I love your bald head, and I love and admire your passion for being successful. -I love you.

Deep seeded things that I never really understood, until now. Who would've ever dreamed that some of the things you do today are a direct correlation to some of your past. Huh? I'm still learning more about me here. Talk about an awakening to something much deeper though. This means that we hold ourselves back because of some of the beliefs we were labeled with as a child. This can be detrimental and devastating. Sheesh, its tough enough just growing up as a kid. Something that someone once said to you and; with that person's belief, they judged you and I guess it tends to stick for some reason. That's what we get for looking up to our peers or our parents. Who'd ever known that! Definitely NOT ME! Until now…. What I learned a long time ago and I've always called it… Generational Error. –The things we get from our parents, the things they got from their parents, and the things they got from their parents, and so on…. -This vicious cycle. I'm thankful of my awareness' to some of the reasons why I tell Tom no. I've learned so many things from my parents. I'm so thankful that my parents taught me things that I'd never want my children to experience because I remember the way it made me feel. I'm thankful for some of the lessons I was taught by "the hard way" because that changed my life in a dramatic way. AND a BIG THANK YOU again for the challenges you put forth with those deep seeded thoughts I have. They have taught me that what I like is all that matters, and its ok. I am learning the aspect of allowing things to happen. You know they say go with the flow….. Tom said it the other day in talking to me about riding the flow of life. He likes it mellow and I like it with determinate, speed. I'm learning about allowing the change to flow within me from the core of what I want. By the way I'm still figuring out me right now, what I want is next, I promise.